The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
behind, and down I came, getting a thrust from the Captain, at the same
time, that almost broke my shoulder-bone. "This was sufficient," they
said, "for the laws of chivalry;" and I was glad to get off so.
After that, the gentlemen riders, of whom there were no less than seven,
in complete armour, and the professionals, now ran at the ring; and the
Baron was far, far the most skilful.
"How sweetly the dear Baron rides," said my wife, who was always ogling
at him, smirking, smiling, and waving her handkerchief to him. "I say,
Sam," says a professional to one of his friends, as, after their course,
they came cantering up, and ranged under Jemmy's bower, as she called
it;—"I say, Sam, I'm blowed if that chap in harmer musn't have been one
of hus." And this only made Jemmy the more pleased; for the fact is, the
Baron had chosen the best way of winning Jemimarann by courting her
mother.
The Baron was declared conqueror at the ring; and Jemmy awarded him the
prize, a wreath of white roses, which she placed on his lance; he
receiving it gracefully, and bowing, until the plumes of his helmet
mingled with the mane of his charger, which backed to the other end of
the lists, and then, galloping back to the place where Jemimarann was
seated, he begged her to place it on his helmet: the poor girl blushed
very much, and did so. As all the people were applauding, Tagrag rushed
up, and, laying his hand on the Baron's shoulder, whispered something in
his ear, which made the other very angry, I suppose, for he shook him
off violently. "_Chacun pour soi_," says he, "_Monsieur de Taguerague_;"
which means, I am told, "every man for himself."
After this came the "Passage of Arms." Tagrag and the Baron run courses
against the other champions; ay, and unhorsed two a-piece; whereupon the
other three refused to turn out; and preciously we laughed at them, to
be sure!
"Now, it's _our_ turn, Mr. _Chicot_," says Tagrag, shaking his fist at
the Baron: "look to yourself, you infernal mountebank, for, by Jupiter!
I'll do my best;" and before Jemmy and the rest of us, who were quite
bewildered, could say a word, these two friends were charging away,
spears in hand, ready to kill each other. In vain Jemmy screamed; in
vain I threw down my truncheon: they had broken two poles before I could
say "Jack Robinson," and were driving at each other with the two new
ones. The Baron had the worst of the first course, for he had almost
been carried out of his saddle. "Hark you, Chicot!" screamed out Tagrag,
"next time look to your head;" and, next time, sure enough, each aimed
at the head of the other.
Tagrag's spear hit the right place; for it carried off the Baron's
helmet, plume, rose-wreath and all; but his Excellency hit truer still—
his lance took Tagrag on the neck, and sent him to the ground like a
stone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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