The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
_Oranges_ come in.
All Orange lodges are by law forbad!
How so!—When into Bartolph Lane one dodges,
And finds, in plain defiance, man and lad,
Christian and Jew, all keeping Orange lodges?
11. St. Martin. (Patron of Betty.)
[Illustration:
NOVEMBER—Law-Life Assurance.
]
NOVEMBER.—LAW-LIFE ASSURANCE.
We knew not what this meant, until we received a strange document from
Higgs, in London; which begun, "Middlesex to wit. Samuel Cox, late of
Portland Place, in the city of Westminster, in the said County, was
attached to answer Samuel Scapgoat, of a plea, wherefore, with force and
arms he entered into one messuage, with the appurtenances, which John
Tuggeridge, Esq., demised to the said Samuel Scapgoat, for a term which
is not yet expired, and ejected him." And it went on to say, that "we,
with force of arms, viz., with swords, knives, and staves, had ejected
him." Was there ever such a monstrous falsehood? when we did but stand
in defence of our own; and isn't it a sin, that we should have been
turned out of our rightful possessions upon such a rascally plea?
Higgs, Biggs, and Blatherwick had evidently been bribed; for, would you
believe it? they told us to give up possession at once, as a will was
found, and we could not defend the action. My Jemmy refused their
proposal with scorn, and laughed at the notion of the will: she
pronounced it to be a forgery, a vile blackamoor forgery; and believes
to this day that the story of its having been made thirty years ago in
Calcutta, and left there with old Tug's papers, and found there, and
brought to England, after a search made by order of Tuggeridge, junior,
is a scandalous falsehood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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