The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
│ │ │Enough, good RIGDUM!—I'll give over │ │
│ │ │ croaking. │ │
└──┴──────────┴──────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┘
A DRAMATIC FACT.
"MACBETH by MR. HIGGS!"—
They sometimes used to let him play it in the country;
And then, odds wigs!
How very great he felt!
One night, while he was at it,
The pot-boy, from the public-house at which he dealt,
Being at _the wing_, quoth Higgs, aside, "Od 'rat it!
I do lack spirits,—but that sha'n't fret me,
Here, boy, take thou this coin, and go get me"—
"Some bread and cheese, and porter, innions, Sir, or what?"
"Nay, no prog!
Expend the shilling all in glorious grog!"
"With sugar, Sir?" "Ay, and very hot;
Thou knowest, lout!
I only take sixpenn'orths cold without!"
The pot-boy took the grog into the green-room,
And left it there for Higgs:—but, as it came to pass,
Lady Macbeth and Banquo having twigged it,
First _she_ took a very _leetle_ sup,—
_He_ fairly swigged it;
And so between them both, alas!
Lady Macbeth and Banquo mopped it up,
And hid the glass!
Higgs, who all this time
Had been upon the stage,—
In that great scene where Macbeth's urged to crime
By those foul witches,—
Now strutted in,—but, oh! (excuse the rhyme,)
Odds philibegs and breeches!
How he did foam and rage,
And writhe his face,
And call the potboy hog, and dog, and log,
On not perceiving his expected grog
In its accustomed place.
The potboy, being summoned, vowed
That he had duly brought it,
And, if to speak his mind he was allowed,
He thought it
Might have vanish'd,
Being partly spirits,—like the witches,
"'Tis false!" roared Higgs, "Avaunt! Be banish'd!
Visit no more this realm of milk and honey!
Base caitiff! YOU'VE ABSCONDED with the money!"
[Illustration:
JUNE.—"Holiday at the Public Offices"
]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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