The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Edward the Third had been for some time leading a very disreputable
life, and had been captivated by one Alice Perrers, to whom he had given
the jewels of the late queen, and who had the effrontery to wear them
when abroad in the public thoroughfares. Among other freaks of his
dotage was a tournament which he gave in Smithfield--the origin, no
doubt, of the once famous Bartholomew Fair--where Alice Perrers figured
in a triumphal chariot, as the Lady of the Sun, the king himself
appearing in the character of the Sun, though it was the general remark
that, as the couple sat side by side, the Sun looked old enough to be
the father.
It was towards the close of this reign that Wycliffe, the celebrated
precursor of Huss, Luther, and Calvin, as well as the curser of popery,
began preaching against the abuses of the Catholic clergy. His cause was
espoused by the Duke of Lancaster, who had been in power since the death
of the Black Prince, and who is said to have taken Wycliffe's part so
ardently, as to have threatened to drag the Bishop of London by the hair
of his head out of St. Paul's Cathedral. Considering that the priest was
all shaven and shorn, it would have been difficult for Lancaster to
have carried out his threat by tugging out the bishop in the manner
specified. It is a curious fact that this alleged attack on one of
the heads of the church was soon followed by a general burden on the
national poll, in the shape of a poll-tax, which was imposed to provide
for the renewal of the war, as the truce in existence was on the point
of expiring.
Edward had now become old and miserable; for having done nothing to gain
the affection of others, he was abandoned at the close of his life, by
even the members of his own family. One or two sycophants clung to him,
in the hope of getting something; but his children had all separate
interests of their own, for the cold and selfish conduct of their parent
had driven them quite away from him. He endeavoured to give decency to
the close of his existence, by a general amnesty for all minor offences;
but it was now too late to gain him friends, and the wretched old man
was left alone with Alice Perrers. He died in her arms at his villa at
Sheen, near Richmond, on the 21st of June, 1377, and she took advantage
of being by his side at his death, to rob him of a valuable ring, which
she took from his finger in his last moments, when he was too weak to
resist the robbery. Were the shade of Edward the Third to present itself
before us for a testimonial, we should advise the spectre, for its
respectability's sake, not to ask us for a character.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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