The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
In a few days young Edward entered the city, but more as a captive than
as a king, and lodgings were immediately taken for him in the Tower,
where he was to be boarded, and, alas! done for by his loving uncle.
Gloucester was named protector to the youthful sovereign, and moved
to No. 1, Crosby Place, Bishopsgate (the number on the door), where,
instead of behaving himself like a gentleman "living private," he held
councils, while Hastings, who began to doubt the duke's loyalty, gave a
series of opposition parties in the Tower. At one of these, Richard, who
had never received a card of invitation, walked in, and voted himself
into the chair with the most consummate impudence. In vain did Hastings
intimate that it was a private room, or that Gloucester must have
mistaken the house for there he sat, exclaiming, "Oh no, not at all,"
begging the company to make themselves at home, as he fully meant to
do. He was particularly facetious to the Bishop of Ely, asking after his
garden in Holborn, and proposing to the prelate to send for a plate of
strawberries.
[Illustration: 327]
These were soon brought, and Richard indulged in "potations pottle deep"
of strawberries and cream, declaring all the while that the fruit was
capital, and that of all wind instruments there was none he liked to
have a blow out upon so much as the hautboy. The Protector having
gone away for a short time, returned in a very ill humour, with his
countenance looking exceedingly sour, as if the strawberries he had
eaten had disagreed with him and the cream had curdled. He gave his
lips several severe bites, and altogether appeared exceedingly snappish.
Presently he asked what those persons deserved who had compassed or
imagined his destruction. Hastings observed, "Why, that is so completely
out of my compass that I can scarcely guess, but I don't mind saying
off-hand that death is the least punishment they merit." The Protector
declared his brother's wife--meaning the queen--and Mrs. Shore had
between them twisted his body, which would, indeed, have been doing him
a very bad turn; and, pulling up his sleeve, he exhibited his left arm,
declaring there was something not at all right about it. The council
agreed that the limb was a good deal damaged, and Hastings added that
"_if_ Mrs. Shore and the queen had really had a hand in Richard's arm,
they certainly deserved grievous punishment."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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