The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
against her will, to Geoffrey, Earl of Anjou; who, from an odd custom
he had of wearing a piece of broom in his cap, instead of a feather,
acquired the nickname of Plantagenet. The marriage was celebrated at
Rouen, and Henry issued a proclamation ordering everybody to be merry.
Long faces were thus entirely prohibited, there was a penalty on black
looks, and persons unable to laugh on the right side of their mouths
were made to laugh upon the other.
Some anxiety was, however, occasioned to Henry by the existence of his
nephew, William Fitz-Robert, the son of Curt-hose, who had pretensions
to the throne through Matilda, his grandmother, which of course gave him
a claim on the friendship of the house of Baldwin, between whom and the
grandmother there was a close relationship. The apprehensions of Henry
were aroused by William Fitz-Henry being made Earl of Flanders, but the
young man was unfortunately killed by receiving a poke from a pike; and
though the wound was only in the finger, it grew worse from being placed
in the hands of ignorant practitioners. Finding it did not get better,
he observed that it was "really very mortifying," and so it was, for
mortification ensued almost immediately. He died at St. Omer, on the
27th of July, 1128, in the twenty-sixth year of his age; and if his
epitaph had been written, it would have run thus:
"Here lies a young prince, whose life was cut short
By medical quacks overturning the sand of it;
His finger was wounded, but who could have thought
The doctors would make such a very bad hand of it?"
Henry's latter days were employed in listening to the quarrels of his
his daughter, Matilda, and her husband, who were never out of pickles,
by reason of their family jars, which were very numerous. The king
had resided four years abroad, and had been hunting, on the 25th of
November, for the purpose of chasing sorrow as well as the game, when,
on his return home, he insisted on eating a lamprey, against the orders
of his physicians. The king did not agree with the doctors, and the
lamprey did not agree with the king, who died on the 1st of December,
1135, at the age of sixty-seven.
Henry's chief merit was his love of learning, which had got him the name
of Beau-clerc, or the pretty scholar. He loved the society of men of
letters, and of wild beasts; but the literary lions were, perhaps, his
greatest favourites. He nevertheless desired that these lions should
only roar in his praise; for he punished Luke de Barré, a poet, very
severely for having written some satirical verses, in which the king was
made a laughing-stock. The poet, according to Orderic, burst from the
executioners and dashed out his brains, which had been the cause of
giving offence to his sovereign.
CHAPTER THE FOURTH. STEPHEN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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