The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Rome seemed very unlikely to be built in that day; and it might never
have been restored, had not an accident--on which they put an ominous
construction--caused the citizens to proceed to the re-construction of
their city. While Camillus was "on his legs" in the senate, a centurion,
passing the House of Assembly with a flag in his hand, was heard to say,
"Let us plant our banner here, for this is the place for us to stop at."
The senators, rushing forth, declared their acceptance of the omen,
though there was nothing ominous in the fact; and the people, carried
away, or rather attracted to the spot, by the same stupidly
superstitious feeling, declared that on that place they would rebuild
the city. There is no doubt that the anxiety of the senators for the
restoration of Rome was owing to the fact of their own property lying
near at hand; and they were desirous, therefore, of improving the
neighbourhood. There was very little patriotism, and a large amount of
self-interest, in a suggestion that materially enhanced their own
estates; and it was extremely easy to find an omen that would put twenty
or thirty per cent. upon the value of their property. In pursuance of
the "omen," they liberally gave bricks that did not belong to them, and
followed up their munificence by allowing stone to be cut from the
public quarries, in order that the works might be hastened; while, as a
further act of generosity, it was permitted to the citizens to pull to
pieces their houses at Veii, for the purpose of embellishing Rome and
its vicinity. Speed being the order of the day, every other kind of
order was neglected. All idea of a general plan fell to the ground, in
consequence of every one having a ground plan of his own. The houses,
instead of wearing the aspect of uniformity, showed a variety of faces,
and told each a different story; while the streets were so constructed,
with reference to the sewers, that the latter were as useless as if
they had been devised by a modern commission.
Rome was still exposed to aggression on various sides from numerous
foes; but Camillus, in his capacity of Dictator, first vanquished them,
and then, admitting them to the franchise, received them in the light of
friends, as if, like old carpets, a thorough beating brought them out in
new colours. Whatever may be the fortune of war, it is its misfortune
invariably to entail a heavy debt; and it is a truth of universal
application, that a country, like an individual, no sooner gets into hot
water, than liquidation becomes extremely difficult. Such was the case
with Rome, where taxation became so high, that the poor were compelled
to borrow of the rich, who, with the usual short-sightedness of avarice,
added an exorbitant claim for interest to the principal debt, and thus,
by insisting on both, got in most cases neither.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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