The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Pyrrhus in the mean time marched to Beneventum to attack Curius,
intending to surprise the latter by sending, through a mountain pass,
some troops and elephants. The idea of a short cut for these massive
brutes was absurd, and the unwieldy bulk of the elephants caused a
succession of stoppages in the highways and byeways through which they
were being driven. The Greek columns got occasionally into a fearful
fix, and it was with difficulty they could lug through the mountain pass
their extremely bulky luggage. Instead of completing their journey by
night, it was daylight before they had commenced their descent on
Curius, who saw them at a distance, and prepared a warm reception for
the elephants. He attacked them with burning arrows, and lighted barrels
of tar, which were pitched among the poor brutes, who fell back upon
their own camp, and every tent was turned into a crush-room. Several
elephants were killed, and four, being taken alive, were made to march
as prisoners in the Consul's triumph. Pyrrhus reached Tarentum with a
handful of horse, and a pocket-full of bread; but, being unable to pay
the salaries of his adherents, they soon fell away in the absence of the
usual golden rivets. He retired to Greece, where he engaged in all sorts
of adventures, till the want of money prevented him from carrying on the
war in any shape; and it is said that he had come down, at last, to such
very petty disputes, that he died of a blow on the head, from a stone
aimed at him in a street-row by an angry woman. On the death of Pyrrhus,
those whom he had assisted relinquished all hope of maintaining
themselves against such a formidable enemy as Rome, and the Lucanians,
Bruttians, and Samnites proceeded to do homage to a power they had been
in the habit of defying as long as they had any one on their side
strong enough to assist them in fighting their battles. The Samnite
ambassadors, who were entrusted with the humiliating duty of conveying
the submission of their countrymen to Curius Dentatus, found him at his
Sabine farm, engaged in the discussion of a large dish of turnips. He
received the envoys with no other form than a wooden one, upon which he
was seated, and he continued his vegetarian meal, as he listened to
their overtures. They offered to bribe him with gold; but, taking up a
spoonful of the mashed turnips, he declared that, as long as he could
make sure of his daily bunch of his favourite luxury, wealth had no
charms for him.
[Illustration: Curius Dentatus refusing the Magnificent Gift offered by
the Samnite Ambassadors.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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