The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
CHAPTER IV.
THE STRUGGLE AND FALL OF FEDERALISM; OR, JOHN ADAMS’S ADMINISTRATION.
1797–1801.
The Pre-Adamite Epoch: its Upheavals and Disruptions in America, and the
red-hot diplomatic Stones, Fauchet and Adet, ejected from France upon
us.—The new French Acrostics; and the Attempts by our Commissioners
and Congress to solve them.—Gold-mounted Spectacles offered us by
France; and our Inability to see our Interests or Duty through
them.—Why and when the Keel of the American Navy was laid.—Of the
Alien and Sedition Laws; why passed and how passed by.—General
Washington and the Gallic Cock; a Crow never crowed out.—Napoleon’s
Tour in Egypt and Palestine described; and its Results on the Treaty
of Peace deduced.—Of the Office and Offices of Consul.—A Review and
new View of our Difficulties with France from 1790 to 1800.—What a
Pitt England fell into.—The City of Washington as a Geographical
Study.—About Mississippi, Alabama, and the French Growth of
Mobile.—The Territorial Condition illustrated.—The Introduction of
Vaccine and other Virus.—Why some Things first break out in
Boston.—State of Parties in 1801.—Why the first Adams was banished
from the Presidential Eden; and the Flaming Swords which prevented his
Return.
The elder pre-Adamite epoch in our history was past. New, more fiery,
and eruptive elements, anti-Federal or Republican, upheaving and
disrupting the old strata below, broke the settled upper crust of our
political world.
In France, the Directory of Five, succeeding to the Convention, and its
powerful national forces,—now welded to Napoleon by the fusing heats of
Monte Notte, Arcoli, and Rivoli,—ejected out upon us those red-hot
diplomatic stones, Fauchet and Adet. The French conundrums thickened.
Genet’s successors out-geneted Genet. They not only equipped cruisers
from American ports, but—displeased with a treaty which our government
had seen fit to make with England, stipulating for the neutrality of
America in the pending war between France on the one side, and England,
Holland, Spain, and Rome on the other—authorized the capture and
confiscation of American ships. In fact, the French envoys seemed
determined to show the absurdity of the old-fashioned rule, that it took
two to make a bargain.
Mr. Pinckney, the American minister to France, was obliged to leave that
American paradise, Paris, without a fig-leaf of excuse to cover the
naked results of his mission.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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