The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
A large crop of political principles was gathered in by such laborers as
Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson, Jay, Patrick Henry, and others,
unpractised in other fields, but yet found to be efficient and skilful.
They learned the old art and mystery of government so readily, and
showed its workings with such unreserve, that statecraft,—which
theretofore had been, in spite of its pretentious parade, mainly a
system of mutual imposition and overreaching,—saw itself suddenly
exposed to popular inspection, and made a subject of vulgar, every-day
comment. Like the automatic chess-player, which seemed such a mystery in
its curious, systematic, intelligent work, these old automatic,
governmental machines were found to be contrivances, very common when
taken apart; in fact, like the wonderful chess-player, kept slyly in
motion, by a very ordinary chap, boxed up inside and moving from his
hidden quarters, springs invented by a person whose name was concealed,
and which kept the pieces going just as well as if the operator had a
brain to work with. The machine which our forefathers finished in
1789,—scorning to take out a patent for it, or in any way to make it
exclusively their own,—apparently complex but really simple, and open to
inspection in all its parts, consisted of a stiff popular main-spring,
distributing its propelling forces through primary wheels and political
chain-work, which runs from the main wheel to smaller state wheels, and
so back and through governors and assemblies of ingenious cogged and
racket motions, securing thus a free yet regulated movement to all the
parts. It is a good machine, although operated at a great disadvantage
by reason of the frequent changes in the hands employed, who have
scarcely time to learn their business before they are required to give
another set a chance. It is inexpensive, notwithstanding that some of
the workmen are learning the kingly trick of considering as their own a
good share of the oil which, in fact, belongs exclusively to its owners,
and is intended only to keep the machine running. Of course foreigners
found not a little fault with this American product, alleging defects
which seem very great when viewed under European lights. At first they
expressed as many objections to it as the cotton-planters to Whitney’s
gin; but it is now very manifest that, while taking exceptions to the
political machine, these foreign gentlemen have copied the planters’
example of getting up, as soon as they conveniently could, very palpable
imitations of the deprecated plan.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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