The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood: A New and Complete EditionHood, Thomas
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The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood: A New and Complete Edition
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor
Saint Sepulchre’s begins to toll,
The Sheriffs seek the cell--
So I expect their officers,
And tremble at the bell!
I look for _beer_, and yet I quake
With fright at every _tap_;
And dread a _double-knock_, for oh!
I’ve not a _single rap_!
A FEW LINES ON COMPLETING FORTY-SEVEN.
When I reflect with serious sense,
While years and years run on,
How soon I may be summon’d hence--
There’s cook a-calling John.
Our lives are built so frail and poor,
On sand and not on rocks,
We’re hourly standing at Death’s door--
There’s some one double-knocks.
All human days have settled terms,
Our fates we cannot force;
This flesh of mine will feed the worms--
They’re come to lunch of course.
And when my body’s turn’d to clay
And dear friends hear my knell,
O let them give a sigh and say--
I hear the up-stairs bell.
A BULL.
One day, no matter where or when,
Except ’twas after some Hibernian revel,
For why? an Irishman is ready then
“To play the Devil”--
A Pat, whose surname has escaped the Bards,
Agreed to play with Nick a game at cards.
The stake, the same that the old Source of Sin
From German Faustus and his German Cousins
Had won by dozens;
The only one in fact he cares a pin
To win.
By luck or roguery of course Old Nick
Won ev’ry trick:
The score was full, the last turn-up had done it--
“Your soul--I’ve won it!”
“It’s true for you I’ve lost that same,”
Said Pat a little hazy in his wits--
“My soul is yours--but come, another game--
_Double_, or quits!”
ON THE DEATH OF THE GIRAFFE.
They say, God wot!
She died upon the spot:
But then in spots she was so rich,--
I wonder which?
ON THE REMOVAL OF A MENAGERIE.
Let Exeter Change lament its change,
Its beasts and other losses--
Another place thrives by its case,
Now _Charing_ has two _Crosses_.
ON HER MAJESTY’S VISIT TO THE CITY, 1844.
We’ve heard of comets, blazing things,
With “fear of change” perplexing Kings;
But, lo! a novel sight and strange,
A Queen who does not fear a ‘Change!
ON THE QUEEN’S VISIT TO THE CITY,
BY A CORNHILL TRADESMAN.
Sure the measure is strange
And all Commerce so stops,
And, to open a ‘Change,
Make us shut up our shops.
ON THE STATUES IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE.
If Nelson looks down on a couple of Kings,
However it pleases the Loyals;
’Tis after the fashion of nautical things,
A sky-scraper over the Royals.
ON A PICTURE (407) IN THE BRITISH INSTITUTION, 1843.
Sir, let me just your tasteful eye enveigle
To yonder Painting, of the Madman Eagle.[9]
Which, _that_ by Poole? Excuse me, sir, I beg,
I really have no wish to catch “The Plague.”
HEART-SPRINGS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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