The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood: A New and Complete EditionHood, Thomas
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The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood: A New and Complete Edition
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor
“Why, then,” said she, “you’ve lost the feet
Of legs in war’s alarms,
And now you cannot wear your shoes
Upon your feats of arms!”
XI.
“O, false and fickle Nelly Gray!
I know why you refuse:
Though I’ve no feet--some other man
Is standing in my shoes!
XII.
“I wish I ne’er had seen your face;
But, now, a long farewell!
For you will be my death;--alas!
You will not be my _Nell_!”
XIII.
Now when he went from Nelly Gray,
His heart so heavy got--
And life was such a burthen grown,
It made him take a knot!
XIV.
So round his melancholy neck,
A rope he did entwine,
And, for his second time in life,
Enlisted in the Line!
XV.
One end he tied around a beam,
And then removed his pegs,
And, as his legs were off,--of course,
He soon was off his legs!
XVI.
And there he hung, till he was dead
As any nail in town,--
For though distress had cut him up,
It could not cut him down!
XVII.
A dozen men sat on his corpse,
To find out why he died--
And they buried Ben in four cross-roads,
With a _stake_ in his inside!
THE SEA-SPELL.
“_Cauld_, _cauld_, he lies beneath the deep.”
_Old Scotch Ballad._
I.
It was a jolly mariner!
The tallest man of three,--
He loosed his sail against the wind,
And turned his boat to sea:
The ink-black sky told every eye,
A storm was soon to be!
II.
But still that jolly mariner
Took in no reef at all,
For, in his pouch, confidingly,
He wore a baby’s caul;
A thing, as gossip-nurses know,
That always brings a squall!
III.
His hat was new, or, newly glazed,
Shone brightly in the sun;
His jacket, like a mariner’s,
True blue as e’er was spun;
His ample trowsers, like Saint Paul,
Bore forty stripes save one.
IV.
And now the fretting foaming tide
He steer’d away to cross;
The bounding pinnace play’d a game
Of dreary pitch and toss;
A game that, on the good dry land,
Is apt to bring a loss!
V.
Good Heaven befriend that little boat,
And guide her on her way!
A boat, they say, has canvas wings,
But cannot fly away!
Though, like a merry singing-bird,
She sits upon the spray!
VI.
Still east by south the little boat,
With tawny sail, kept beating:
Now out of sight, between two waves,
Now o’er th’ horizon fleeting:
Like greedy swine that feed on mast,--
The waves her mast seem’d eating!
VII.
The sullen sky grew black above,
The wave as black beneath;
Each roaring billow show’d full soon
A white and foamy wreath;
Like angry dogs that snarl at first,
And then display their teeth.
VIII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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