One tooth--I wonder such a tooth Had never killed him in his youth-- One tooth he had with many fangs, That shot at once as many pangs, It had an universal sting; One touch of that ecstatic stump Could jerk his limbs, and make him jump, Just like a puppet on a string; And what was worse than all, it had A way of making others bad. There is, as many know, a knack, With certain farming undertakers, And this same tooth pursued their track, By adding _achers_ still to _achers_! One way there is, that has been judged A certain cure, but Hunks was loth To pay the fee, and quite begrudged To lose his tooth and money both; In fact, a dentist and the wheel Of Fortune are a kindred cast, For after all is drawn, you feel It’s paying for a blank at last; So Hunks went on from week to week, And kept his torment in his cheek. Oh! how it sometimes set him rocking, With that perpetual gnaw--gnaw--gnaw, His moans and groans were truly shocking And loud,--altho’ he held his jaw. Many a tug he gave his gum, And tooth, but still it would not come; Tho’ tied by string to some firm thing, He could not draw it, do his best, By draw’rs, although he tried a chest. At last, but after much debating, He joined a score of mouths in waiting, Like his, to have their troubles out. Sad sight it was to look about At twenty faces making faces, With many a rampant trick and antic, For all were very horrid cases, And made their owners nearly frantic. A little wicket now and then Took one of these unhappy men, And out again the victim rushed, While eyes and mouth together gushed; At last arrived our hero’s turn, Who plunged his hands in both his pockets, And down he sat, prepared to learn How teeth are charmed to quit their sockets. Those who have felt such operations, Alone can guess the sort of ache, When his old tooth began to break The thread of old associations; It touched a string in every part, It had so many tender ties; One chord seemed wrenching at his heart, And two were tugging at his eyes; “Bone of his bone,” he felt of course, As husbands do in such divorce; At last the fangs gave way a little Hunks gave his head a backward jerk, And to! the cause of all this work, Went--where it used to send his victual!