I watch’d last month all the drovers and drivers about the suburbs, for it’s a positive fact, That I think the utmost penalty ought always to be enforced against everybody under Mr. Martin’s act; But I couldn’t catch one hit over the horns, or over the shins, or on the ears, or over the head; And I caught a rheumatism from early wet hours, and got five weeks of ten swell’d fingers in bed. Oh, Charity, &c. Well, I’ve utterly done with Charity, though I used so to preach about its finest fount; Charity may do for some that are more lucky, but _I_ can’t turn it to any account-- It goes so the very reverse way--even if one chirrups it up with a dust of piety; That henceforth let it be understood, I take my name entirely out of the List of Subscribers to the Humane Society. Oh, Charity, &c. THE CHINA MENDER. Good morning, Mr. What-d’ye-call! Well! here’s another pretty job! Lord help my Lady!--what a smash!--if you had only heard her sob! It was all through Mr. Lambert: but for certain he was winey, To think for to go to sit down on a table full of Chiney. “Deuce take your stupid head!” says my Lady to his very face; But politeness, you know, is nothing, when there’s Chiney in the case; And if ever a woman was fond of Chiney to a passion It’s my mistress, and all sorts of it, whether new or old fashion. Her brother’s a sea-captain, and brings her home shiploads-- Such bonzes, and such dragons, and nasty, squatting things like toads; And great nidnoddin’ mandarins, with palsies in the head: I declare I’ve often dreamt of them, and had nightmares in my bed. But the frightfuller they are--lawk! she loves them all the better: She’d have Old Nick himself made of Chiney if they’d let her.