The Common LawChambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
General
The Common Law
Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Yes, the _something_ seemed to have penetrated to his own veins now; he
felt its serene glow mounting when he spent solemn evenings in John
Burleson's room, the big sculptor lying in his morris-chair, sometimes
irritable, sometimes morose, but always now wearing the vivid patch of
colour on his flat and sunken cheeks.
Once John said: "Why on earth do you waste a perfectly good afternoon
dawdling in this place with me?"
And Neville, for a second, wondered, too; then he laughed:
"I get all that I give you, John, and more, too. Shut up and mind your
business."
"_What_ do you get from me?" demanded the literal one, astonished.
"All that you are, Johnny; which is much that I am not--but ought to
be--may yet be."
"That's some sort of transcendental philosophy, isn't it?" grumbled the
sculptor.
"You ought to know better than I, John. The sacred codfish never
penetrated to the Hudson. _Inde irac!_"
Yes, truly, whatever it was that had crept into his veins had
imperceptibly suffused him, enveloped him--and was working changes. He
had a vague idea, sometimes, that Valerie had been the inception, the
source, the reagent in the chemistry which was surely altering either
himself or the world of men around him; that the change was less a
synthesis than a catalysis--that he was gradually becoming different
because of her nearness to him--her physical and spiritual nearness.
He had plenty of leisure to think of her while she was away; but thought
of her was now only an active ebullition of the ceaseless consciousness
of her which so entirely possessed him. When a selfish man loves--if he
_really_ loves--his disintegration begins.
Waking, sleeping, in happiness, in perplexity, abroad, at home, active
or at rest, inspired or weary, alone or with others, an exquisite sense
of her presence on earth invaded him, subtly refreshing him with every
breath he drew. He walked abroad amid the city crowds companioned by her
always; at rest the essence of her stole through and through him till
the very air around seemed sweetened.
He heard others mention her, and remained silent, aloof, wrapped in his
memories, like one who listens to phantoms in a dream praising
perfection.
Lying back in his chair before his canvas, he thought of her often--of
odd little details concerning their daily life--details almost
trivial--gestures, a glance, a laugh--recollections which surprised him
with the very charm of their insignificance.
He remembered that he had never known her to be ungenerous--had never
detected in her a wilfully selfish motive. In his life he had never
before believed in a character so utterly unshackled by thought of self.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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