If the uncertainty of being worthy of thy love or hatred, O Lord, made even St. Paul, that vessel of election, tremble, how much more reason have not I to apprehend, lest some concealed sin, lurking in my heart, might obstruct the salutary influence of those graces which thou hast prepared for those who worthily receive thee in this divine sacrament? {116} May not I, perhaps, like another Judas, give thee the kiss of peace to-day, and basely betray thee to-morrow? or, instead of coming to visit me as a faithful disciple, dost thou not rather come with horror and indignation, as to a concealed enemy? How can I answer for the integrity of my confession, the fervour of my contrition, or the sincerity of my resolutions? Is it not custom, or human respect, that brings me to the foot of thy altar? Have not I still some favourite attachment? and in the resolutions I have made of relinquishing my vile evil habits, have I not spared some favourite though dangerous passion? With the same heart-felt anguish as thy disciples experienced on the like occasion, I ask thee, O Lord, "Is it I?" But the most abominable traitor, Judas, asked thee the same question? Is not my anxiety, as his was, only false and apparent? It is this thought, O my God, that terrifies me; and it is to thyself alone I have recourse to preserve me from so horrible a sacrilege. No, thou wilt never permit me to be guilty of so horrid a profanation, since thou seest there is no evil I dread so much. Wherefore, my dear Saviour, after being as diligent as I could in my preparation to receive thee, I now rest entirely on thy infinite mercy, "Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man."--_Luke_, v. "Have confidence, my child, thy sins are forgiven thee."--_Matt_. xi. {117} An Act Of Contrition. By our Saviour's washing the feet of his disciples, to prepare them for this new supper, ("And he began to wash the feet of his disciples, and dry them with the girt he had about him,"--_John_, xiii.) we are taught not to confine ourselves merely to detesting those grievous sins which give death to the soul; because we see that the disciples were obliged to undergo this ceremony, though Christ already had declared them pure, and in the state of grace; ("you," saith he, "are already clean;") but we should also endeavour to purify our souls, as much as possible, from even the slightest stains of venial sin, which is signified by the washing of the feet of his disciples.