The Complete Plays of Gilbert and SullivanGilbert, W. S. (William Schwenck)
General
The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan
Gilbert, W. S. (William Schwenck)
Operas -- Librettos
See here—his name—Nanki-Poo—beheaded this morning.
Oh, where shall I find another? Where shall I find another?
[Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing fall on
their knees.
MIK. (looking at paper). Dear, dear, dear! this is very
tiresome. (To Ko-Ko.) My poor fellow, in your anxiety to carry
out my wishes you have beheaded the heir to the throne of Japan!
KO. I beg to offer an unqualified apology.
POOH. I desire to associate myself with that expression of
regret.
PITTI. We really hadn't the least notion—
MIK. Of course you hadn't. How could you? Come, come, my
good fellow, don't distress yourself—it was no fault of yours.
If a man of exalted rank chooses to disguise himself as a Second
Trombone, he must take the consequences. It really distresses me
to see you take on so. I've no doubt he thoroughly deserved all
he got. (They rise.)
KO. We are infinitely obliged to your Majesty——
PITTI. Much obliged, your Majesty.
POOH. Very much obliged, your Majesty.
MIK. Obliged? not a bit. Don't mention it. How could you
tell?
POOH. No, of course we couldn't tell who the gentleman
really was.
PITTI. It wasn't written on his forehead, you know.
KO. It might have been on his pocket-handkerchief, but
Japanese don't use pocket-handkerchiefs! Ha! ha! ha!
MIK. Ha! ha! ha! (To Katisha.) I forget the punishment for
compassing the death of the Heir Apparent.
KO., POOH, and PITTI. Punishment. (They drop down on their
knees again.)
MIK. Yes. Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I
fancy. Something of that sort. I think boiling oil occurs in
it, but I'm not sure. I know it's something humorous, but
lingering, with either boiling oil or melted lead. Come, come,
don't fret—I'm not a bit angry.
KO. (in abject terror). If your Majesty will accept our
assurance, we had no idea——
MIK. Of course——
PITTI. I knew nothing about it.
POOH. I wasn't there.
MIK. That's the pathetic part of it. Unfortunately, the
fool of an Act says "compassing the death of the Heir Apparent."
There's not a word about a mistake——
KO., PITTI., and POOH. No!
MIK. Or not knowing——
KO. No!
MIK. Or having no notion——
PITTI. No!
MIK. Or not being there——
POOH. No!
MIK. There should be, of course—-
KO., PITTI., and POOH. Yes!
MIK. But there isn't.
KO., PITTI., and POOH. Oh!
MIK. That's the slovenly way in which these Acts are always
drawn. However, cheer up, it'll be all right. I'll have it
altered next session. Now, let's see about your execution—will
after luncheon suit you? Can you wait till then?
KO., PITTI., and POOH. Oh, yes—we can wait till then!
MIK. Then we'll make it after luncheon.
POOH. I don't want any lunch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account