Gama: If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist — all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct. To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes; And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise; I love my fellow creatures — I do all the good I can— Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! To compliments inflated I've a withering reply; And vanity I always do my best to mortify; A charitable action I can skillfully dissect; And interested motives I'm delighted to detect; I know ev'rybody's income and what ev'rybody earns; And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns; But to benefit humanity however much I plan, Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be; You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee, I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer. To ev'rybody's prejudice I know a thing or two; I can tell a woman's age in half a minute — and I do. But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can, Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! Chorus: He can't think why! He can't think why! (Enter Hildebrand, Hilarion, Cyril and Florian) Gama: So this is Castle Hildebrand? Well, well! Dame Rumour whispered that the place was grand; She told me that your taste was exquisite, Superb, unparalleled! Hildebnd: (Gratified) Oh, really, King! Gama: But she's a liar! Why, how old you've grown! Is this Hilarion? Why, you've changed too— You were a singularly handsome child! (To Florian) Are you a courtier? Come, then ply your trade, Tell me some lies. How do you like your King? Vile rumour says he's all but imbecile. Now, that's not true? Florian: My lord, we love our King. His wise remarks are valued by his court As precious stones.