Florian: A Woman's college! maddest folly going! What can girls learn within its walls worth knowing? I'll lay a crown (the Princess shall decide it) I'll teach them twice as much in half-an-hour outside it. Hilarion: Hush, scoffer; ere you sound your puny thunder, List to their aims, and bow your head in wonder! They intend to send a wire To the moon Cyril & Florian: To the moon; Hilarion: And they'll set the Thames on fire Very soon Cyril & Florian: Very soon; Hilarion: Then they'll learn to make silk purses With their rigs Cyril & Florian: With their rigs. Hilarion: From the ears of Lady Circe's Piggy-wigs Cyril & Florian: Piggy-wigs. Hilarion: And weasels at their slumbers They trepan Cyril & Florian: They trepan; Hilarion: To get sunbeams from cucumbers They've a plan Cyril & Florian: They've a plan. Hilarion: They've a firmly rooted notion They can cross the Polar Ocean, And they'll find Perpetual Motion, If they can All: If they can. These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see. These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see! Cyril: As for fashion, they forswear it, So they say Hilarion & Florian: So they say; Cyril: And the circle — they will square it Some fine day Hilarion & Florian: Some fine day; Cyril: Then the little pigs they're teaching For to fly Hilarion & Florian: For to fly; Cyril: And the niggers they'll be bleaching, By and by Hilarion & Florian: By and by! Cyril: Each newly joined aspirant To the clan Hilarion & Florian: To the clan Cyril: Must repudiate the tyrant Known as Man Hilarion & Florian: Known as Man.