The Complete Prose Works of Martin Farquhar TupperTupper, Martin Farquhar
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The Complete Prose Works of Martin Farquhar Tupper
Tupper, Martin Farquhar
Apologetics; Essays; Fiction
17. The House of Feasting 308
18. The End of the Heartless 312
19. Wherein matters are concluded 320
CHAPTER I.
WHEREIN TWO ANXIOUS PARENTS HOLD A COLLOQUY.
"Is he rich, ma'am? is he rich? ey? what--what? is he rich?"
Sir Thomas was a rapid little man, and quite an epicure in the use of
that luscious monosyllable.
"Is he rich, Lady Dillaway? ey? what?"
"Really, Thomas, you never give me time to answer," replied the
quintescence of quietude, her ladyship; "and then it is perpetually the
same question, and--"
"Well, ma'am, can there be a more important question asked? I repeat it,
is he rich? ey? what?
"You know, Sir Thomas, we never are agreed about the meaning of that
word; but I should say, very."
As Lady Dillaway always spoke quite softly in a whisper, she had failed
to enlighten the knight; but he seemed, notwithstanding, to have caught
her intention instinctively; for he added, in his impetuous, imperious
way,
"No nonsense now, about talents and virtues, and all such trash; but
quick, ma'am, quick--is the man rich?"
"In talents, as you mention the word, certainly, very rich; a more
clever or accomplished--"
"Cut it short, ma'am--cut it short, I say--I'll have no adventurers, who
live by their wits, making up to my daughter--pedantic puppies, good for
ushers, nothing else. What do they mean by knowing so much? ey? what?"
"And then, Sir Thomas, if you will only let me speak, a man of purer
morals, finer feelings, higher Christian--"
"Bah! well enough for curates: go on, ma'am--go on, and make haste to
the point of all points--is he rich?"
"You know I never will make haste, Thomas, for I never can have
patience, and you shall hear; I am little in the habit of judging people
entirely by their purses, not even a son-in-law, provided there is a
sufficiency on the one side or the other for--"
"Quick, mum--quick--rich--rich? will the woman drive me mad?" and Sir
Thomas Dillaway, Knight, rattled loose cash in both pockets more
vindictively than ever. But the spouse, nothing hurried, still crept on
in her _sotto voce adantino_ style,
"Mr. Clements owes nothing, has something, and above and beside all his
good heart, good mind, good fame, good looks, good family, possesses a
contented--"
"Pish! contented, bah!" our hasty knight's nose actually curled upwards
in utter scorn as he added, "Now, that's enough--quite enough. I'll bet
a plum the man's poor. Contented indeed! did you ever know a rich man
yet who was contented--ey? mum--ey? or a poor one that wasn't--ey? what?
I've no patience with those contented fellows: it's my belief they
steal away the happiness of monied men. If this Mr. Clements was
rich--rich, one wouldn't mind so much about talents, virtues, and
contentment--work-house blessings; but the man's poor, I know
it--poo-o-or!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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