The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (HTML edition)Ward, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (HTML edition)
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
Some seventeen years ago a small band of Mormons--headed by Brigham
Young--commenced in the present thrifty metropolis of Utah.
The population of the territory of Utah is over 100,000--chiefly
Mormons--and they are increasing at the rate of from five to ten
thousand annually. The converts to Mormonism now are almost exclusively
confined to English and Germans--Wales and Cornwall have contributed
largely to the population of Utah during the last few years. The
population of Great Salt Lake City is 20,000.--The streets are eight
rods wide--and are neither flagged nor paved. A stream of pure mountain
spring water courses through each street--and is conducted into the
Gardens of the Mormons. The houses are mostly of adobe--or sun-dried
brick--and present a neat and comfortable appearance.--They are usually
a story and a half high. Now and then you see a fine modern house
in Salt Lake City--but no house that is dirty, shabby, and
dilapidated--because there are no absolutely poor people in Utah.
Every Mormon has a nice garden--and every Mormon has a tidy
dooryard.--Neatness is a great characteristic of the Mormons.
The Mormons profess to believe that they are the chosen people of
God--they call themselves Latter-day Saints--and they call us people
of the outer world Gentiles. They say that Mr. Brigham Young is a
prophet--the legitimate successor of Joseph Smith--who founded the
Mormon religion. They also say they are authorized--by special
revelation from Heaven--to marry as many wives as they can comfortably
support.
This wife-system they call plurality--the world calls it polygamy.
That at its best it is an accursed thing--I need not of course inform
you--but you will bear in mind that I am here as a rather cheerful
reporter of what I saw in Utah--and I fancy it isn't at all necessary
for me to grow virtuously indignant over something we all know is
hideously wrong.
You will be surprised to hear--I was amazed to see--that among the
Mormon women there are some few persons of education--of positive
cultivation. As a class the Mormons are not educated people--but they
are by no means the community of ignoramuses so many writers have told
us they were.
The valley in which they live is splendidly favored. They raise immense
crops. They have mills of all kinds. They have coal--lead--and silver
mines. All they eat--all they drink--all they wear they can produce
themselves--and still have a great abundance to sell to the gold regions
of Idaho on the one hand--and the silver regions of Nevada on the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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