"'Twas an innocent look, dear madam," I softly said.  "You behold in me an emblem of innocence and purity.  In fact, I start for Rome by the first train to-morrow to sit as a model to a celebrated artist who is about to sculp a statue to be called Sweet Innocence.  Do you s'pose a sculper would send for me for that purpose onless he knowd I was overflowing with innocency?  Don't make a error about me." "It is my opinyn," said the leading female, "that you're a scoffer and a wretch!  Your mind is in a wusser beclouded state than the poor nergoes' we are seeking to aid.  You are a groper in the dark cellar of sin.  O sinful man! 'There is a sparkling fount       Come, O come, and drink.' No! you will not come and drink." "Yes, he will," said the landlord, "if you'll treat.  Jest try him." "As for you," said the enraged female to the landlord, "you're a degraded bein, too low and wulgar to talk to." "This is the sparklin fount for me, dear sister!" cried the lan'lord, drawin and drinkin a mug of beer.  Having uttered which goak, he gave a low rumblin larf, and relapsed into silence. "My colored fren," I said to the negro, kindly, "what is it all about?" He said they was trying to raise money to send missionaries to the Southern States in America to preach to the vast numbers of negroes recently made free there.  He said they were without the gospel.  They were without tracts. I said, "My fren," this is a seris matter.  I admire you for trying to help the race to which you belong, and far be it from me to say anything again carrying the gospel among the blacks of the South.  Let them go to them by all means.  But I happen to individually know that there are some thousands of liberated blacks in the South who are starvin.  I don't blame anybody for this, but it is a very sad fact.  Some are really too ill to work, some can't get work to do, and others are too foolish to see any necessity for workin.  I was down there last winter and I observed that this class had plenty of preachin for their souls, but skurce any vittles for their stummux.  Now, if it is proposed to send flour and bacon along with the gospel, the idea is really an excellent one.  If, on t'other hand, it is proposed to send preachin alone, all I can say is that it's a hard case for the niggers.  If you expect a colored person to get deeply interested in a tract when his stummuck is empty, you expect too much." I gave the negro as much as I could afford, and the kind-hearted lan'lord did the same.  I said: "Farewell, my colored fren, I wish you well, certainly.  You are now as free as the eagle.  Be like him and soar.  But don't attempt to convert a Ethiopian person while his stummuck yearns for vittles.  And you, ladies--I hope you are ready to help the poor and unfortunate at home, as you seem to help the poor and unfortunate abroad." When they had gone, the lan'lord said, "Come into the garden, Ward."  And we went and culled some carrots for dinner.