"It means," said that remarkable female "that you men air makin' fools of yourselves.  You air willin' to talk and urge others to go to the wars, but you don't go to the wars yourselves.  War meetin's is very nice in their way, but they don't keep STONEWALL JACKSON from comin' over to Maryland and helpin' himself to the fattest beef critters.  What we want is more cider and less talk.  We want you able-bodied men to stop speechifying, which don't 'mount to the wiggle of a sick cat's tail, and to go fi'tin'; otherwise you can stay to home and take keer of the children, while we wimin will go to the wars!" "Gentl'man," said I, "that's my wife!  Go in, old gal!" and I throw'd up my ancient white hat in perfeck rapters. "Is this roll-book to be filled up with the names of men or wimin?" she cried. "With men--with men!" and our quoty was made up that very night. There is a great deal of gas about these war meetin's.  A war meetin', in fact, without gas, would be suthin' like the play of HAMLET with the part of OTHELLO omitted. Still believin' that the Goddess of Liberty is about as well sot up with as any young lady in distress could expect to be, I am Yours more'n anybody else's,     A. Ward ____________________ THE DRAFT IN BALDINSVILLE. If I'm drafted I shall resign. Deeply grateful for the onexpected honor thus confered upon me I shall feel compeld to resign the position in favor of sum more worthy person.  Modesty is what ails me.  That's what's kept me under. I meanter-say, I shall hav to resign if I'm drafted everywheres I've bin inrold.  I must now, furrinstuns, be inrold in upards of 200 different towns.  If I'd kept on travelin' I should hav eventooaly becum a Brigade, in which case I could have held a meetin' and elected myself Brigadeer-ginral quite unanimiss.  I hadn't no idea there was so many of me before.  But, serisly, I concluded to stop exhibitin', and made tracks for Baldinsville. My only daughter threw herself onto my boosum, and said, "It is me fayther!  I thank the gods!" She reads the Ledger. "Tip us yer bunch of fives, old faker!" said ARTEMUS, Jr.  He reads the Clipper. My wife was to the sowin' circle.  I knew she and the wimin folks was havin' a pleasant time slanderin' the females of the other sowin' circle (which likewise met that arternoon, and was doubtless enjoyin' theirselves ekally well in slanderin' the fust-named circle), and I didn't send for her.  I allus like to see people enjoy theirselves. My son ORGUSTUS was playin' onto a floot. ORGUSTUS is a ethereal cuss.  The twins was bildin' cob-houses in a corner of the kitchin'. It'll cost some postage-stamps to raise this fam'ly, and yet it 'ud go hard with the old man to lose any lamb of the flock.