My dauter and wife was mad, but I couldn't help it; I felt in a comikil mood. "It is a wonder to me, Sir," sed the artist, "considerin what a widespread reputation you have, that some of our Eastern managers don't secure you." "It's a wonder to me," said I to my wife, "that somebody don't secure him with a chain." After breakfast I went over to town to see my old friends.  The editor of the Bugle greeted me cordyully, and showed me the follerin' article he'd just written about the paper on the other side of the street: "We have recently put up in our office an entirely new sink, of unique construction--with two holes through which the soiled water may pass to the new bucket underneath.  What will the hell-hounds of "The Advertiser" say to this!  We shall continue to make improvements as fast as our rapidly increasing business may warrant.  Wonder whether a certain editor's wife thinks she can palm off a brass watch-chain on this community for a gold one?" "That," says the Editor, "hits him whar he lives.  That will close him up as bad as it did when I wrote an article ridicooling his sister, who's got a cock-eye." A few days after my return I was shown a young man, who says he'll be Dam if he goes to the war.  He was settin' on a barrel, and was indeed a Loathsum objeck. Last Sunday I heard Parson Batkins preach, and the good old man preached well, too, tho' his prayer was ruther lengthy.  The Editor of the Bugle, who was with me, sed that prayer would make fifteen squares, solid nonparil. I don't think of nothin' more to write about.  So, "B'leeve me if all those endearing young charms," &c., &c. A. Ward. ____________________ IN CANADA. I'm at present existin' under a monikal form of Gov'ment.  In other words I'm travellin' among the crowned heds of Canady.  They ain't pretty bad people.  On the cont'ry, they air exceedin' good people. Troo, they air deprived of many blessins.  They don't enjoy for instans, the priceless boon of a war.  They haven't any American Egil to onchain, and they hain't got a Fourth of July to their backs. Altho' this is a monikal form of Gov'ment, I am onable to perceeve much moniky.  I tried to git a piece in Toronto, but failed to succeed. Mrs. VICTORIA, who is Queen of England, and has all the luxuries of the markets, includin' game in its season, don't bother herself much about Canady, but lets her do 'bout as she's mighter.  She, however, gin'rally keeps her supplied with a lord, who's called a Gov'ner Gin'ral.  Sometimes the politicians of Canady make it lively for this lord--for Canady has politicians, and I expect they don't differ from our politicians, some of 'em bein' gifted and talented liars, no doubt.