The Complete Works of Brann, the Iconoclast — Volume 01Brann, William Cowper
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The Complete Works of Brann, the Iconoclast — Volume 01
Brann, William Cowper
Brann, William Cowper, 1855-1898; Essays; Reformers
Little Billee is a very nice young man who has been kept
too close to his mother's apron-strings for his own good--a
girlish, hysterical kind of boy, who should be given spoon-
victuals and put to bed early. Of course he wants to marry
Trilby, for he is of that age when the swish of a petticoat
makes us seasick. She is perfectly willing to become his
mistress--although she had "repented" of her sins and
been "forgiven" but a few days before. She has sense
enough--despite Du Maurier's portraits of her--to know that
she is unworthy to become a gentleman's wife, to be mated
with a he-virgin like Little Billee. But she is overpersuaded--
as usual--and consents. Then the young calf's mother
comes on the scene and asks her to spare her little pansy
blossom--not to blight his life with the frost of her follies.
And of course she consents again. She's the great
consenter--always in the hands of friends, like an American
politician. "The difficulty of saying nay to earnest pleading"
prevents a mesalliance. Trilby skips the trala and Little
Billee--who has no chance to secure a reconsideration cries
himself sick, but recovers,--comes up smiling like a cotton-
patch after a spring shower. He is taken to England, but
fails to find that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
He gets wedded to his art quite prettily, and even thinks of
turning Mormon and taking the vicar's daughter for a
second bride, but slips up on an atheistical orange peel,
something has gone wrong with his head. Where his bump
of amativeness should stick out like a walnut there is a
discouraging depression which alarms him greatly, and
worries the reader not a little. But finally he sees Trilby
again, and, the wheel in his head, which has stuck fast for
five years, begins to whizz around like the internal
economy of an alarm clock--or a sky terrier with a
clothespin on his tail.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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