The Complete Works of Brann, the Iconoclast — Volume 01Brann, William Cowper
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The Complete Works of Brann, the Iconoclast — Volume 01
Brann, William Cowper
Brann, William Cowper, 1855-1898; Essays; Reformers
As Balaam was evidently expecting the visit we may
conclude that the caller was Baal, as Jehovah was not at
that time on visiting terms with the Gentile priests--was
busily engaged pulling down their altars and putting them to
the sword. Balaam gratified the very natural curiosity of his
celestial visitor, and the latter, after learning all the
particulars, cautioned his diviner or priest not to make any
bad breaks. Balaam sent the ambassadors back with word
that Baal was a trifle shy of curses at that particular time.
Balak evidently understood the situation, for he sent other
agents with larger offerings. Balaam still insisted that he
had received no permission to wipe up the Plain of Moab
with the ex-brick builders, but saddled his ass and went
along, promising to do the best he could for his bleeding
country. He evidently desired to size up the situation and
be quite sure that none of his curses would come home to
roost. Doubtless he also desired to see if Balak was
bidding all he could afford for celestial aid, for we have no
reason to believe that Brother Balaam was in the prophet
business for his health or peddling curses for recreation.
While en route his companions probably informed him
that the Jews were as frequent as jugs in a Prohibition
precinct--that they had slaughtered the people of Ai, driven
Og into the earth, overcome Ammon and were making the
rest of the Canaanitish nations hard to catch, for the good
man was seized with a sudden desire to take the
back track. His burro balked and Balaam told his fellow
travelers that an angel was interfering with his
transportation facilities. Perhaps the princes of Moab made
ribald remarks anent the celestial obstruction--even hinted
that Balaam had best get a Maud S. move on him or he
might contract a vigorous case of unavailing regret. Then
the burro began to blab. Like many of the old pagan
priests, Balaam was doubtless an adept in the art of
ventriloquism. That may have convinced the ambassadors
and bulled the price of curses; for then, as now, it was no
uncommon thing for the utterance of an ass to be mistaken
for that of an oracle. Or some Doubting Thomas may have
twisted the burro's tail. For some reason not set forth by
the sacred chronicler, the angel withdrew his objections and
the prophet proceeded on his way, but still protesting that
no permit had been accorded him to put a kibosh on
Joshua's free-booters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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