"Go it! Fire away! Farewell, vain world!" exclaimed the excited John.--"Trade your soul off for a pair of ear-bobs and a button-hook--a hank of jute hair and a box of lily-white! I've buried not less than ten old chums this way, and here's another nominated for the tomb." "But you've got no REASON about you," began Bert,--"I want to"-- "And so do _I_ 'want to,' " broke in John finally, --"I want to get some sleep.--So 'register' and come to bed.--And lie up on edge, too, when you DO come--'cause this old catafalque-of-a-bed is just about as narrow as your views of single blessedness! Peace! Not another word! Pile in! Pile in! I'm three-parts sick, anyhow, and I want rest!" And very truly he spoke. It was a bright morning when the slothful John was aroused by a long vociferous pounding on the door. He started up in bed to find himself alone-- the victim of his wrathful irony having evidently risen and fled away while his pitiless tormentor slept--"Doubtless to accomplish at once that nefarious intent as set forth by his unblushing confession of last night," mused the miserable John. And he ground his fingers in the corners of his swollen eyes, and leered grimly in the glass at the feverish orbs, blood-shot, blurred and aching. The pounding on the door continued. John looked at his watch; it was only eight o'clock. "Hi, there!" he called viciously. "What do you mean, anyhow?" he went on, elevating his voice again; "shaking a man out of bed when he's just dropping into his first sleep?" "I mean that you're going to get up; that's what!" replied a firm female voice. "It's eight o'clock, and I want to put your room in order; and I'm not going to wait all day about it, either! Get up and go down to your breakfast, and let me have the room!" And the clamor at the door was industriously renewed. "Say!" called John querulously, hurrying on his clothes, "Say, you!" "There's no 'say' about it!" responded the determined voice: "I've heard about you and your ways around this house, and I'm not going to put up with it! You'll not lie in bed till high noon when I've got to keep your room in proper order!" "Oh, ho!" bawled John intelligently: "reckon you're the new invasion here? Doubtless you're that girl that's been hanging up the new window- blinds that won't roll, and disguising the pillows with clean slips, and hennin' round among my books and papers on the table here, and aging me generally till I don't know my own handwriting by the time I find it! Oh, yes, you're going to revolutionize things here; you're going to introduce promptness, and system, and order. See you've even filled the wash-pitcher and tucked two starched towels through the handle. Haven't got any tin towels, have you? I rather like this new soap, too! So solid and durable, you know; warranted not to raise a lather. Might as well wash one's hands with a door-knob!"