Thare iz few, if enny, more suggestive sights tew a philosopher, than tew lean agin the side ov the wall, and peruse a clean, phatt, aud well disiplined baby, spread out on the floor, trieing tew smash a hammer awl tew pieces with a looking glass. Evry man kan boast ov one admirer. If yu would be successful in corekting the iniquitys ov the people, fire at their vices, not at the people; the trew way to abuze a drunkard iz to brake hiz jug. Life iz a punktuated paragraff, disseazes are the commas, sickness the semicolons, and death the full stop. No man iz ritch who wants enny more than what he haz got. Don’t giv outward appearances awl the credit, the spirit ov a handsum boot iz the little fut that iz in it. I don’t beleaf in bad luck being sot for a man, like a trap, but i hav known lots ov folks, who if thare waz enny fust rate bad luck lieing around loose, would be sure tew git one foot in it enny how. The man who wrote, “I would not liv always, I ask not tew sta,” probably never had been urged sufficiently. Thare iz a kind ov acktive lazyness, it works on its viktims just az the wicked flea duz on the feelings ov an old house dogg, he hopps up quick, but drops down agin sudden, in the same spot. The man who controls hiz pashuns sits at the helm ov hiz ship. It iz very diffikult tew kalkulate upon suckcess, unless a man sets up for a phool--in this department, i hav known hundreds to succeed, contrary tew their expektashuns. I don’t want enny better evidence that a man iz a phool than tew see him cultivate excentricitys. The man who kan conceal hiz real karakter when he iz drunk, or in a pashion, haz got a giant karakter. I have found out that happiness konsists in working bizzy 12 hours, sleeping 8 hours, and playing checkures 4 hours, out ov every 24. Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites more wonder than a star in the heavans. “Experience iz a good schoolmaster,” but reason iz a better one. A Pedant iz a lernt phool--pedantry iz a little knowledge on parade--pedantry iz hypocrasy, without enny malice in it. All the good men in this world hav got the same kind ov religion, it iz only the ded-beats frauds, and hypokrits, whoze religion differs. Pride iz a looking-glass, into which men look, and seeing themselfs, they strut, and stick up their noze at other folks. How on arth kan we trust man kind, or woman kind, when thare aint one out ov ten ov them, dare trust themselfs. Thare iz 2 kinds ov Faith, faith ov the brains, this iz nothing more than shrewdness--and faith ov the heart, this iz humility, haff sister to virtew. Yu will notis one thing, all good talkers are good listeners. Adversity iz a goddess with frozen smiles. If I had the privilege ov making the Eleventh Commandment, it would be this--_owe no man_. Young ones and dogs?--thoze who are the least able to support them, generally hav the most ov them. Sum folks, az they gro older, gro wizer; but most folks simply gro stubbornner.