Publik honours, in this country, are quite often like the pcock’s tail, fust rate for a spread, but after they are shut up, the glory goes with the tail. I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor. Cannon balls--are the bulbous plants ov Liberty. Thare iz no grater fun for me than tew prick a bladder--windy folks will please make a note ov this. Contentment iz mere instinkt, reazon teaches us that thare ain’t no sich thing, nor hadn’t ought tew be enny sich thing, in this world. About az good a way tew learn people az enny tew respekt yu, iz tew run over them; if yu let them run over yu they certainly won’t. I hope i shall never hav so mutch reputashun that i shan’t feel obliged to be alwus civil. Thare seems tew be this difference between an old widdower and an old bachelor; the widdower livs upon faith, and the bachelor on hope, and this ackounts for the widdower alwus beating the bachelor in a ring fight, for the hand ov beauty. Marrying tew suit other folks iz the prudery ov politeness; i should az soon think ov begging pardon ov a thorn, for running aginst it. An Englishman correkts hiz mistakes before he makes them; a Yankee afterwards. Fashions are made for sum folks, and sum folks are made for fashion. Thoze people who hav a grate deal ov perfekt propriety, i notiss, don’t hav mutch ov enny thing else. Tew enjoy a good reputashun, giv publickly, and steal privately. I hav got a dredful poor opinyun ov all religious creeds; a man who depends upon a creed tew keep him pious, iz no better than he whom the penalty for stealing keeps out ov jail. PARBOILS. It is a good sign when praize makes a man behave better. Proverbs, are like arrows, they fly not only fast but straight. Our wants, after awl, make most ov our happiness, when we hav got awl we want, then cums fear lest we loze what we hav got, and thus possession, fails tew be happiness. Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but invigorating, if you pitch into them. Cunning iz the dishonesty, and therefore the weakness ov wisdum. Wise men are like a watch, they hav open countenances enuff, but dont show their works in their face. Love is a natral pashion ov the heart, while friendship iz a necessary one, and awl hearts, however mutch they love, reserve a sly corner for what they call friendship. About the best that kan be sed ov grate wealth iz, that it iz the means ov grace. When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack. Take awl the prophecys that hav cum tew pass, and awl that hav caught on the center, and failed tew cum tew time, and make them up into an average, and yer will find, that buying stock, on the Codfish Bank ov Nufoundland, at 50 per cent, for a rise, iz, in comparison, a good spekulatiff bizziness.