“Familiarity breeds kontempt.” This only applies tew men, not tew hot bukwheat slapkakes, well buttered and sugared. A man’s reputashun iz something like hiz coat, thare iz certain kemikals that will take the stains and greaze spots out ov it, but it alwus haz a second-handed kind ov a look, and generally smells strong ov the kemikals. We are happy in this world just in proporshun as we make others happy--i stand reddy tew bet 50 dollars on this saying. Politeness iz the science ov gitting down on your knees before folks without getting your pantaloons dirty. The mizer and glutton, two facetious buzzards--one hides hiz store and the other stores hiz hide. Credit iz like chastity; they both ov them kan stand temptashun better than they kan suspicion. NEST EGGS. It iz hard work when we see a man ketching fish out ov a hole, tew keep from baiting our hook, and throwing in thare too. Good natur iz the daily bread ov life. The wealth ov a person should be estimated, not bi the amount he haz, but bi the use he makes ov it. Phools, like phishes, alwus run in skools. What chastity iz tew a woman, credit iz tew a man. [Illustration: NEST EGGS.] It iz a wize man that watches himself, and a phoolish one that watches hiz nabors. Vanity iz often mistaken for wit, but it iz no more like it than gravity iz like wisdum. Thare iz this difference between a cunning man and a wize one--the cunning one looks thru a mikriskope, the wize one thru a teleskope. Vanity iz the chief ingredient in every human harte. Yer will find it az kommon amung slaves and paupers az amung kings and princes. Bizzy boddys are like pissmires, alwus in a grate hurry about nothing. One grate reazon whi every boddy likes the falls ov Niagara so mutch iz, bekauze no one kan make one like it. Thare iz sum hope ov a man who iz wicked, but not weak. Debt iz like enny other kind ov a trap, eazy enuff tew git into, but hard enuff tew git out ov. Thare iz no kind ov flattery so powerful, so subtle, and at the same time so agreeable az deference. Bare necessitys will support life no doubt, so will the works support a watch, but they both want greasing once in a while, jist a leetle. Philosophy iz a very good kind ov a teacher, and yu may be able tew liv _by_ it, but yu kant liv _on_ it--hash will tell. Lazyness weighs eighteen ounces to the pound. The _history_ ov life iz tew hope and be disapointed, the _viktory_ iz to “never say die.” The way tew _Fame_ iz like klimbing a greast pole; thare aint but phew kan do it, and even then it don’t pay. It iz dredful eazy tew mistake what we _think_ for what we _know_; this iz the way that most ov the lies git born that are traveling around loose. Ambishun iz like a tred wheel; it knows no limits; yu no sooner git tew the end ov it than you begin agin. We are never in more danger ov being laft at than when we are laffing at others.