Without friends and without enemys iz the last reliable ackount we hav ov a stray dog. Men generally, when they whip a mule, sware; the mule remembers the swareing, but forgits the licking. Sum folks wonder whare awl the lies cum from, but i don’t, one good liar will pizen a whole country. Hunting after fame iz like hunting after fleas, hard tew ketch, and sure tew make yu uneazy if yu dew or don’t ketch them. Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in. Imaginashun, tew mutch indulged in, soon iz tortured into reality; this iz one way that good hoss thiefs are made, a man leans over a fence all day, and imagines the hoss in the lot belongs tew him, and sure enuff, the fust dark night, the hoss does. If you must chaw terbacker, young man, for Heaven’s sake, chaw old plugg, it iz the nastyest. INK LINGS. Truth iz like the burdocks a cow gits into the end ov her tail, the more she shakes them oph, the less she gits rid ov them. Thare is 2 kinds ov men in this world, that i don’t kare about meeting when i am in a grate hurry. Men whom i owe, and men who want to owe me. [Illustration: INK LINGS.] Thare iz always one chance agin the best laid plans ov man, and the Lord holds that chance. Mi private opinyun about “abscence ov mind” is, that 9 times out ov 10, it iz abscence ov branes. The flattery that men offer tew themselfs iz the most dangerous, bekause the least suspekted. Take a kitten that kan hardly walk on land, and chuck him into a mill pond, and he will swim ashore--enny boddy kan apply the moral in this. The best philosophers and moralists i hav ever met, hav been thoze who had plenty to eat, and drink, and had money at interest. It takes a wize man to suffer prosperity, but most enny phool kan suffer adversity. Pride, after all, iz one ov our best friends--it makes us beleave we are better and happier than our nabors. Before yu give enny man advise, find out what kind ov advice will suit him the best. Knowledge is like money, the more a man gits the more he hankers for. The vices and phollys ov grate men are never admired nor imitated bi grate men. The trew art ov kriticism is tew excuse faults rather than ridikule them. We hav no more right to laff at a deformed person, than we hav at a crooked tree--both ov them are God’s arkitekture. How strange it iz that most men had rather be flattered for possessing what they hav not, than to be justly praised for having what they possess. Suavity ov manners towards men iz like suavity ov molassis toward flies, it not only calls them to you, but sticks them fast after they git thare.