Thare iz this difference between modesty and bashfulness, one iz paint under the skin, and the other iz paint on the outside ov it, liable tew wash oph. _Abstinence_ should be the exception, and _temperance_ the rule. If a man should happen tew reach perfeckshun in this world, he would hav tew die immediately tew enjoy himself. One ov the best evidences ov our immortality, iz our desires tew be so. A man who haint got enny imaginashun at all, iz just right for a hitching post. Old age iz covetous, bekauze it haz larnt bi experience, that the best friend a man haz in this world, iz hiz pocket-book. Love iz the fust pashun ov the heart, ambishun the seckond and avarice the third, and last. Patience will tire out ennything but musketoes. Deference iz silent flattery. The chains ov slavery are none the less gauling for being made ov gold. The love that a man gains by flattery, is worth just about az mutch az the flattery is. “_Happy as a king_,” iz a libel on happiness, and on the king to. If you will be familiar, you must expekt tew loose the confidence ov phools, and the esteem ov the wize. Learning iz a good deal like strength, it requires good hoss sense tew know how tew apply it. Grate men are knot bi enny means the best ov companyuns, they seldum kan ever enjoy themselfs. Confess yure sins tew the Lord, and yu will be forgiven, confess them tew men, and yu will be laffed at. Impudence is nothing more than open hipokrasy. About the most we kan hope in our old age iz tew endure the thoughts ov what we enjoyed when we waz young. There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller’s sister. HOT KORN. Thare iz a grate deal ov rezolushun in _Gin_, but kussid little judgment. A nikname will not only outliv a man, but outlast even hiz tombstun. What iz the chief end ov man? To foot hiz wife’s bills and foot the man who insults her. A genial old man iz pleasant tew look upon, but a frisky old man is too mutch like an Irish wake to be captivating. A man who kant fiddle but one tune, i don’t kare how well he kan do it, ain’t a permanent suckcess. [Illustration: HOT KORN.] After all i don’t kno az thare iz ennything in this world that pays mutch better than being a natral born phool. A literary reputashun iz hard tew git and eazy tew loose, and when once lost iz lost forever. Thare iz grate art in growing old gracefully. If a man haz got a good reputashun he better git it insured, for they are dredful risky. Misplaced charity iz a good blunder tew make. If yu want tew git a good general idee ov a man’s karakter find out from him what hiz opinion ov his nabor iz. It iz a grate deal better for a man tew be defamed than tew be praized for what he don’t possess. Genuine happiness is like a genuine ghost, everyboddy talks about them and seems tew beleaf in them, but i guess noboddy hain’t seen one yet.