This iz only one ov the thousand modes ov gambling, but probably the most niggerlike ov enny ov them. If I had a son who was a thimblerigger by perswashun, and could not be converted from the low, and villainous game enny other way, I would pray tew hav him hit hard with lightning, and then go into suitable mourning afterwards. Gambling iz a vice, az natural to man, az the love ov gain, it iz the pashun ov the civilized, and uncivilized, the Hindoo, and the Saxon, the nigger, and the congressman. It iz az old az history, and as demoralizing az enny profligasy, that haz yet bin invented. Rum and dice, are the two grate levellers, they bring the judge down tew the grade ov the loafer, and pluck out by the roots the tail feathers ov aristocracy. They corrupt the warmest heart, chill the most ardent ambishun, wither the brightest hopes, and brutalize the tenderest pashions. All that gamble may not reach the lowest depths ov its degradashun, but they are on the right road. Total abstinence iz the only cure for gambling, alteratives wont answer. One ov the wust feeters ov this disseaze iz, that it iz like the small pox, if the patient recovers hiz health, he kant never git rid ov the skars; a man may ceaze to be a gambler, but once a gambler, the cursed pashion whines around him, like a ghost around the buried. LONG BRANCH IN SLICES. Long Branch iz the eastern terminus ov sum real estate on the west side ov the Atlantik Oshun, and iz lokated cluss down to the edge ov the water. The populashun iz homo genus, woman genus, girl and boy genus, yung one genus, and divers other kind ov genus. The divers genus are sum plenty. They go into the Atlantik Oshun, hand in hand, man and wife, phellow and gall, stranger and strangeresses, drest in flowing robes, and cum out by-and-by like statuary in a tite fit. The Atlantik Oshun iz a grate success. The author and proprietor ov it never makes enny blunders. Thare iz a grate deal ov morality here at Long Branch. Thare iz sum isolated cases ov iniquity, and a clever sprinkling of innocent deviltry. [Illustration: JOSH BILLINGS BATHING AT LONG BRANCH.] I am pleased to state that the _iniquity_ iz principally in fust hands, and finds but few takers. The fluid ov the Atlantik Oshun iz psalt, and haz bin so for more than three hundred years to my knowledge. I state this as a stubborn fakt, and the “_oldest inhabitant_” may help himself if he can. The ockashun ov this psaltness has bothered the clergy for years. Sum ov them say that large lumps ov psalt waz deposited in the oshun, at an early day, bi the injuns, for safe keeping, and sum say that the grate number ov kodfish and number 2 makrel that travel in its waters haz flavoured the oshun. I endorse the kodfish and makrel job, not bekauze i think it iz true, but bekauze i think it iz the weakest, and i hav alwus bin in the habit ov standing up for the weak and oppressed.