I will raize thee an alter, kind Fortune, an alter az hi az a lamp post, if theze mi prayers are answered--farewell for the present--don’t go back on Beau Bennett, the butiful!! A LEKTURE TO MALE YOUNG MEN ONLY. Yu are about 2 begin life, yung men, for the fust time, and i suppose thare wud be no impropriety in mi saing for the last time tew. It is hily important or thereabouts, that yu set down in sum kool plase, and take an honest akount ov stok, or in other wurds, less poetick but equally tru, yu sarch out the ramifikashun ov natur, and see what natur haz ramified yu for. Now Skriptur will tell yu, that men don’t gether pigs from thissels, neither dus the husband, nor hiz wife, nor enny ov his relashuns, plant korn when tha are after pumpkins, nor sow bukwheat, when he iz a lookin for old rye. [Illustration] Kauze and affeck iz anuther awful good thing to studdy; yu will find this talked ov in Dan Webster’s dicktionary. Having follered the above advise, and having hefted the above reasoning, yu will cum tew the konklusion whether it iz best for yu tu studdy law or studdy shumaking, both ov them honerabil biznisses, and equally kondusiv tew helth. Yu will also be enabled tew bet with dispatch, whether yu hav a kall, tew preach the gospil, or sel yankee noshuns at auction, both ov them respektuous, if honestla follared, and both ov them liabel tew be led estra, and end at laste in the bronkeetis. The studdy ov medisin will present itself and flap its wings and crow, but it kant fule yu, bekause yu have sot down, as rekomended above, and tuk akount ov yure liabilitys, and kno tew a spot whether yu air konstructed rite for a veteran surgeon amung hosses, or hav the rite natur for dealing out kalamil & gallup amung men, wimmin & childrin. Yu will likewize hav it in yure power tew gess clussly between being a kolporter or keeping a billiard tabil; if yu find that yure goose iz morally sound, yu will itinerate at onst, but if yu diskiver a leak in yure base, yu will take up yure cue, naturally & akordinly. Selling dri goods and blaksmithing wil klaim yure especial notis, and wil bother yu dredfully for a verdik; but if yu find yu hav kalico on the brain, & aint afraid tew stretch the cloth & the truth a little, when yu mezure it, yu will straddle the kounter like an ingyrubber clothes pin, and smile on yure kustomers like a sleeping babe trubbled with dreams. Yu wil, without doubt, be asked tu sa whether yu wil be a pollytisian or a blakleg, both equally honorabil.