The monkey haz not got a logikal head, it iz tew mutch like a pin hed, all in a heap to onst, but hiz face is a concentrated dew drop of malishus mischief. He resembles the rat tarrier in countenance, and skratches hiz hed, az natral az a distrikt skool boy, and undoubtedly for the same reason. Monkeys never grow enny older in expreshun, a yung monkey looks just like his grandpapa, melted up and born again. They are sometimes kept as pets, but i should rather watch two adopted orphan boys, fresh from the Home of the Friendless, than two monkeys. They will eat everything that a man will, except bolony sarsage, here they show more instinkt, than reason. But after all, tho the monkey shows evident sighns ov reazon, they are, az a means ov praktikal grace, the most useless kritters i hav ever pondered over and skratched mi head about. They won’t work, and they won’t play, unless they kan raize sum devil, they are too mutch like a human being in looks, and actions to kill off, it is impossible tew gaze at one and git mad at him, and it iz impossible tew laff at their smirking santanity, without getting mad at yureself. If enny boddy should make me a present ov a monkey, i don’t know now, whether i should konsider it intended for malice, or a joke, but i do know, that i should send him back bi the same person that fetched him, tew the donor, marked in loud italicks--_C. O. D._ In conklusion; thare iz only one thing that i have a grate supply ov doubt about, in reference tew the monkey, and that iz his moral stamina, while in the garden ov Eden, with the rest ov the critters, previous tew the time that Adam fell;--was he strickly on the square, or was he just az full ov the devil az he is now? An answer tew the above konumdrum iz earnestly solicited. THE PISSMIRE. The pissmire iz about 19 sizes bigger than the ant, aktual meazurement, and iz a kind ov bizzy loafer among bugs. They are like sum men, alwus very bizzy about sumthing, but what it iz, the Lord only knows. I never see a pissmire yet that wasn’t on the travel, but i hav watched them all day long, and never see them git tew the place they started for. Just before a hard shower they are in the biggest hurry, they seem tew postpone every thing for that ockashun. Thar iz a grate difference between hurry and dispatch, but pissmires dont seem to understand the difference. If pissmires would go slower I should like them better, for i dont know ov ennything more unpleasant to view, than an aktive loafer. A pissmire iz like a boys wind mill, on the gable end ov a smoke house, in a gale, the faster it goze round, the less common sense thare seems tew be in it. If pissmires haint got a destiny ov sum kind tew fill they wear out more shu leather than thare iz enny religion in. THE POLE KAT. My friend, did yu ever examin the fragrant pole kat clussly? I guess not, they are a kritter who won’t bear examining with a microskope. They are butiful beings, but oh! how deceptive.