Yeller dogs will sumtime, and sumwhare, hav their day, and when the huge
piles ov brikbats, and mountains ov old tin ware, cums into court, i
want tew be thare, for i am anxious tew know what the line ov defence
will be.
ROOSTERS.
Thare is not on the whole horizon or ov live natur a more pleazing and
strengthening studdy than the Rooster. This remarkable package of
feathers has bin for ages food for philosophik, as well as the simple
currious mind. They belong tew the feathered sekt denominated poultry,
and are the husbands of menny wives. In Utah it is konsidered a disgrace
tew speak disrespekful of a rooster. Brigham Young’s coat ov arms is a
rooster, in full blast, crowing till he is almost bent over double
backwards.
The flesh ov the rooster is very similar tew the flesh ov the hen; it is
hard tew distinguish the diffrence espeshily in yure soup. Roosters are
the pugilists amung the domestik burds; they wear the belt, and having
no shoulder tew strike from, they strike from the heel.
Roosters, according to profane history, if mi edukashun remembers me
right, were formerly a man, who come suddenly upon one ov the heathen
gods, at a time when he want prepared tew see company, and waz, fur that
offense, rebuilt over into the fust rooster, and waz forever afterward
destined to crow, as a kind ov warning. This change from a man akounts
for their fighting abilities, and for their politeness tew the hens.
Thare is nothing in a man that a woman admires more than his reddyness
and ability tew smash another fellow, and it iz jiss so with a hen. When
a rooster gits licked, the hens all march oph with the other rooster, if
he ain’t haff so big or handsome.
It iz pluck that wins a hen or a woman.
Thare iz grate variety ov pedigree amung the rooster race, but for
stiddy bizzness give me the old fash dominique rooster, short-legged,
and when they walk, they alwus strut, and their buzzums stick out, like
an alderman’s abdominal cupboard. This breed iz hawk-colored, and haz a
crooked tail on them, arched like a sickle, and az full ov feathers as a
new duster.
But when you come right down to grit, and throw all outside influences
overboard, thare aint nothing on earth, nor under it, that kan
out-style, out-step, out-brag, or out-pluck a regular Bantam rooster.
They alwus put me in mind ov a small dandy, prakticing before a
looking-glass.
They don’t weigh more than 30 ounces, but they make az mutch fuss az a
ton, i have seen them trieing tew pik a quarrel with a two hoss waggon,
and don’t think they would hesitate tew fight a meeting house, if it waz
the least bit sassy tew them.
It is more than fun tew hear one ov these little chevaliers crow, it iz
like a four-year old baby trieing tew sing a line out ov the Star
Spangled Banner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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