Thare iz but phew things on the face ov this earth more utterly worthless than a poodle, and yet i am glad thare iz poodles, for if thare wasn’t thare iz some people who wouldn’t hav enny objekt in living, and hav nothing tew luv. Thare iz nothing in this world made in vain, and poodles are good for fleas. Fleas are also good for poodles, for they keep their minds employed scratching, and almost every boddy else’s too about the house. I never knew a man tew keep a poodle. Man’s natur iz too koarse for poodles. A poodle would soon fade and die if a man waz tew nuss him. I don’t expekt enny poodle, but if enny boddy duz giv me one he must make up hiz mind tew be tied onto a long stick every Saturday, and be used for washing the windows on the outside. This kind ov nussing would probably make the poodle mad, and probably he would quit, but i kant help it. If i hav got tew keep a poodle, he haz got tew help wash the windows every Saturday. I am solid on this pint. Bully for me. THE PATRIDGE. The patridge iz a kind ov wild hen, and liv in the swamps, and on the hill sides that are woody. They are verry eazy tew ketch with the hand, if yu kan git near enuff tew them tew put salt on their tale, but this iz alwus diffikult for nu beginners. In the spring ov the year they will drum a tune with their wings on some deserted old log, and if yu draw ni unto them tew observe the musik, they will rize up, and kut a hole thru the air with a hum like a bullet. Thare iz no burd kan beat a patridge on the wing for one hundred yards, i am authorized tew bet on this. The patridge are a game burd, and are shot on the wing, if they are not missed. It iz dreadful natral tew miss a patridge on the fly, especially if a tree gets in the way. I hav hunted a grate deal for patridge, and lost a grate deal ov time at it. The patridge lays 14 eggs, and iz az sure tew hatch all her eggs out az a cockroach iz who feels well. When a brood ov yung patridges fust begin tew toddle about with the old bird, they look like a lot ov last year’s chestnut burs on legs. Broiled patridge iz good if yu kan git one that waz born during the present century, but thare iz a grate menny patridge around that waz with Noah in the ark, and they are az tuff tew git the meat oph ov az a hoss shu. But broiled patridge iz better than broiled krow, and i had rather hav broiled krow than broiled mule just for a change. THE SNIPE. The snipe iz a gray, misterious bird, who git up out ov low, wet places quick, and git back again quick. They are pure game, and are shot on the move. They are az tender tew brile az a saddle rok oyster, and eat az eazy az sweetmeats. The snipe haz a long bill (about the length ov a doktor’s) and git a living bi thrusting it down into the fat earth, and then pumping the juices out with their tounge. I hav seen snipe so phatt that when they waz shot 50 feet in the air and phell on to the hard ground, they would split open like an egg.