The soul which animates Nature is not less significantly published in
the figure, movement, and gesture of animated bodies, than in its last
vehicle of articulate speech. This silent and subtile language is
Manners; not _what_, but _how_. Life expresses. A statue has no
tongue, and needs none. Good tableaux do not need declamation. Nature
tells every secret once. Yes, but in man she tells it all the time, by
form, attitude, gesture, mien, face, and parts of the face, and by the
whole action of the machine. The visible carriage or action of the
individual, as resulting from his organization and his will combined, we
call manners. What are they but thought entering the hands and feet,
controlling the movements of the body, the speech and behavior?
There is always a best way of doing everything, if it be to boil an egg.
Manners are the happy ways of doing things; each once a stroke of genius
or of love,—now repeated and hardened into usage. They form at last a
rich varnish, with which the routine of life is washed, and its details
adorned. If they are superficial, so are the dew-drops which give such a
depth to the morning meadows. Manners are very communicable: men catch
them from each other. Consuelo, in the romance, boasts of the lessons
she had given the nobles in manners, on the stage; and, in real life,
Talma taught Napoleon the arts of behavior. Genius invents fine
manners, which the baron and the baroness copy very fast, and, by the
advantage of a palace, better the instruction. They stereotype the
lesson they have learned into a mode.
The power of manners is incessant,—an element as unconcealable as fire.
The nobility cannot in any country be disguised, and no more in a
republic or a democracy, than in a kingdom. No man can resist their
influence. There are certain manners which are learned in good society,
of that force, that, if a person have them, he or she must be
considered, and is everywhere welcome, though without beauty, or wealth,
or genius. Give a boy address and accomplishments, and you give him the
mastery of palaces and fortunes where he goes. He has not the trouble of
earning or owning them; they solicit him to enter and possess. We send
girls of a timid, retreating disposition to the boarding-school, to the
riding-school, to the ballroom, or wheresoever they can come into
acquaintance and nearness of leading persons of their own sex; where
they might learn address, and see it near at hand. The power of a woman
of fashion to lead, and also to daunt and repel, derives from their
belief that she knows resources and behaviors not known to them; but
when these have mastered her secret, they learn to confront her, and
recover their self-possession.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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