Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others. A scholar may
be a well-bred man, or he may not. The enthusiast is introduced to
polished scholars in society, and is chilled and silenced by finding
himself not in their element. They all have somewhat which he has not,
and, it seems, ought to have. But if he finds the scholar apart from
his companions, it is then the enthusiast’s turn, and the scholar has no
defence, but must deal on his terms. Now they must fight the battle out
on their private strengths. What is the talent of that character so
common,—the successful man of the world,—in all marts, senates, and
drawing-rooms? Manners: manners of power; sense to see his advantage,
and manners up to it. See him approach his man. He knows that troops
behave as they are handled at first;—that is his cheap secret; just what
happens to every two persons who meet on any affair,—one instantly
perceives that he has the key of the situation, that his will
comprehends the other’s will, as the cat does the mouse; and he has only
to use courtesy, and furnish good-natured reasons to his victim to cover
up the chain, lest he be shamed into resistance.
The theatre in which this science of manners has a formal importance is
not with us a court, but dress-circles, wherein, after the close of the
day’s business, men and women meet at leisure, for mutual entertainment,
in ornamented drawing-rooms. Of course, it has every variety of
attraction and merit; but, to earnest persons, to youths or maidens who
have great objects at heart, we cannot extol it highly. A well-dressed,
talkative company, where each is bent to amuse the other.—yet the
high-born Turk who came hither fancied that every woman seemed to be
suffering for a chair; that all the talkers were brained and exhausted
by the deoxygenated air: it spoiled the best persons: it put all on
stilts. Yet here are the secret biographies written and read. The
aspect of that man is repulsive: I do not wish to deal with him. The
other is irritable, shy, and on his guard. The youth looks humble and
manly: I choose him. Look on this woman. There is not beauty, nor
brilliant sayings, nor distinguished power to serve you; but all see her
gladly; her whole air and impression are healthful. Here come the
sentimentalists, and the invalids. Here is Elise, who caught cold in
coming into the world, and has always increased it since. Here are
creep-mouse manners; and thievish manners. "Look at Northcote," said
Fuseli; "he looks like a rat that has seen a cat." In the shallow
company, easily excited, easily tired, here is the columnar Bernard: the
Alleghanies do not express more repose than his behavior. Here are the
sweet following eyes of Cecile: it seemed always that she demanded the
heart. Nothing can be more excellent in kind than the Corinthian grace
of Gertrude’s manners, and yet Blanche, who has no manners, has better
manners than she; for the movements of Blanche are the sallies of a
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