"Where are you going, fool? Go, run in the grass, little creature."
I liked it, for I, too, loved all insects, and I was interested in the
secret life which they led among the grass and the flowers.
I asked several questions of the old man, for I wanted him to
speak plainly and more concisely, but I noticed that he evaded my
problems. In fact, he jumped over them. I liked his lively face. The
red reflection of the fire played lovingly over him, and everything
vibrated with the peaceful joy which I so desired.
I envied him. He had lived twice as long as I, or even more, but his
soul was clear.
"One man told me," I said to him, "that faith comes from imagination.
What do you say?"
"I say," he answered, "that that man did not know what he was talking
about, for faith is a great creative feeling. It is born from the
overflow of the life-forces in man. Its strength is enormous and it
incites the youthful human spirit, driving it to action, for man is
bound and narrowed by his activities, and the outside world hinders
him in every way. Everything demands that he produce bread and iron,
but not the live treasure which is in the lap of his soul. He does not
yet understand how to take advantage of this treasure. He is afraid
of the uproar in his soul. He creates monstrosities and he fears the
reflection of his turbid spirit. He does not understand its being and
he bows to the forms of faith, to his own shadows, I might say."
I did not understand him that minute, but for some reason I became
deeply enraged, and I thought to myself: "Now, I will not let you go
away from this place before you answer the root of the question." I
asked him sternly:
"Why do you evade the question of God?"
He looked at me, frowned and said:
"But, my dear boy, I am speaking about Him all the time. Do you not
feel it?"
He stood on his knees and the fire played on him. He held my hand and
spoke low and impressively:
"Who is God, the worker of miracles? Is He our Father, or is He the
child of our soul?"
I remember that I started and looked about me, for I felt
uncomfortable. Insanity spoke in the old man.
Dark shadows lay about and I listened, while the murmur of the woods
crept around us, drowning the weak crackle of the burning coal and the
quiet sound of the river. I, too, wanted to kneel.
Then he spoke loudly, as if in argument:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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