After my discussion with this writer several men came up and spoke to
me, as if they did not expect anything good from me.
"There is another fellow here; don't you want to meet him?"
Toward vespers a meeting was arranged for me with this young man in
the wood near the lake. He was dark, as if blasted by lightning. His
hair was cut short, and his look was dry and sharp; his face was all
bone, from which two brown eyes burned brightly. The young man coughed
continually and trembled. He looked at me hostilely and, breathing with
difficulty, said: "They told me about you--that you scoff at patience
and kindness. Why? Explain."
I do not remember what I said to him, but as I argued I only noticed
his tortured face and his dying voice when he cried to me: "We are not
for this life, but for the next. Heaven is our country. Do you hear it?"
A lame soldier, who had lost his leg in the Tekinsky War, stood
opposite him and said gloomily: "My opinion, Orthodox, is this:
Wherever there is less fear there is more truth," and turning to the
young man he said: "If you are afraid of death that is your affair, but
do not frighten the others. We have been frightened enough without you.
Now you, red-head, speak."
The young man vanished soon after, but the people remained--a crowd
of about half a hundred--to listen to me. I do not know with what I
attracted their attention, but I was pleased that they heard me, and
I spoke for a long time in the twilight, among the tall pines and the
serious people.
I remember that all their faces fused into one long, sorrowful
face, thoughtful and strong-willed, dumb in words but bold in secret
thoughts, and in its hundred eyes I saw an unquenchable fire which was
related to my soul.
Later this single face disappeared from my memory, and only long after
I understood that it was this centralization of the will of the people
into one thought which arouses the anxiety of the guardians of the law
and makes them fear. Even if this thought is not yet born or developed,
still the spirit is enriched by the doubt in the indestructibility
of hostile laws--whence the worry of the guardians of the law. They
see this firm-willed, questioning look; they see the people wander
upon the earth, quiet and silent, and they feel the unseeing rays of
their thoughts, and they understand that the secret fire of their
dumb councils can turn their laws into ashes, and that other laws are
possible.
They have a fine ear for this, like thieves who hear the careful
movements of the awakened owner whose house they have come to rob in
the night, and they know that when the people shall open its eyes life
will change and its face turn toward heaven.
The people have no God so long as they live divided and hostile to one
another. And of what good is a living God to a satisfied man? He seeks
only a justification for his full stomach amid the general starvation
around him.
His lone life is pitiful and grotesque, surrounded on all sides by
horror.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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