Once, as I stood at vespers, I heard one of the women in the choir sing
divinely. She was a tall young girl, with a flushed face, black eyes,
stern looking, her lips red, and her voice was sure and full. She sang
as if she were questioning something, and angry tears mingled with her
voice.
My foot became better and, as I was already able to work, I was
preparing to leave the place. While I was shoveling the snow from the
road one day I saw the girl coming. She walked quietly, but stiffly.
In her right hand, which was pressed against her breast, she carried
a rosary; her left hung by her side like a whip. Her lips were
compressed, she frowned and her face was pale. I bowed to her, but she
threw her head backward and looked at me as if I had done her harm at
some time. Her manner enraged me. Moreover, I could not bear the sight
of this young nun.
"Well, my girl," I said, "it is not easy to live." She started and
stopped.
"What did you say?" she asked.
"It is hard to master one's self," I said.
"Oh, the devil!" she said suddenly in a low voice, but with great
anger. And with that her black figure disappeared quickly, like a cloud
on a windy day.
I cannot explain why I said that to her. At that time many such
thoughts jumped into my head and flew out like sparks into any one's
eyes. It seemed to me that all people were liars and hypocrites.
Three days later I saw her again on another road. She angered me still
more. Why did she cover herself all in black? From what was she hiding?
When she passed me I said to her:
"Do you wish to escape from here?"
The girl trembled, threw back her head and remained standing, straight
as an arrow. I thought she would cry out, but she passed me, and then I
heard her answer distinctly:
"I will tell you to-night."
I was terrified, but I thought perhaps I had not heard correctly.
Still, though she had spoken low, her words came as clearly to me as
from a bell. At first they amused me; then I became confused, and later
I calmed myself, thinking that perhaps the bold hussy was joking with
me.
When I had hurt my foot, they had brought me into the infirmary and I
occupied a little room under the staircase, and that room I occupied
all the time I stayed at the monastery. That night as I lay in my cot I
thought it was time I stopped my wandering life, and that I ought to go
to some city and there work in a bakery. I did not wish to think about
the girl.
Suddenly some one knocked very low. I jumped up, opened the door, and
an old woman bowed and said:
"Follow me, if you please."
I understood where, but I asked nothing and went, threatening her
inwardly.
"Is that the way it is, my dear? You will see how I will surprise your
soul."
We crossed corridors and came to the place. The old woman opened a door
and pushed me forward, whispering, "I will come to take you back."
A match flared up for a moment and in the darkness a familiar face lit
up, and I heard her voice say:
"Lock the door."
I locked it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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