The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
"Never," replied Brigitte; "adieu, Henry." She held out her hand. He bent
over it, pressed it to his lips and I had barely time to slip into a
corner as he passed out without seeing me.
Alone with Brigitte, my heart sank within me. She was waiting for me, her
shawl on her arm, and emotion plainly marked on her face. She had found
the key she had been looking for and her desk was open. I returned and
sat down near the fire. "Listen to me," I said without daring to look at
her; "I have been so culpable in my treatment of you that I ought to wait
and suffer without a word of complaint. The change which has taken place
in you has thrown me into such despair that I have not been able to
refrain from asking you the cause; but to-day I ask nothing more. Does it
cost you an effort to depart? Tell me, and if so, I am resigned."
"Let us go, let us go!" she replied.
"As you please, but be frank; whatever blow I may receive, I ought not to
ask whence it comes; I should submit without a murmur. But if I lose you,
do not speak to me of hope, for God knows I will not survive the loss."
She turned on me like a flash.
"Speak to me of your love," she said, "not of your grief."
"Very well, I love you more than life. Beside my love, my grief is but a
dream. Come with me to the end of the world, I will die or I will live
with you."
With these words, I advanced toward her; she turned pale and recoiled.
She made a vain effort to force a smile on her contracted lips, and
sitting down before her desk she said:
"One moment; I have some papers here I want to burn."
She showed me the letters from N-----, tore them up and threw them into
the fire; she then took out other papers which she reread and then spread
out on the table. They were bills of purchases she had made and some of
them were still unpaid. While examining them, she began to talk rapidly,
while her cheeks burned as though with fever. Then she asked my pardon
for her obstinate silence and her conduct since our arrival. She gave
evidence of more tenderness, more confidence than ever. She clapped her
hands gleefully at the prospect of a happy journey; in short, she was all
love, or at least apparently all love. I can not tell how I suffered at
the sight of that factitious joy; there was, in that grief which crazed
her, something more sad than tears and more bitter than reproaches. I
would have preferred to have her cold and indifferent rather than thus
excited; it seemed to me a parody of our happiest moments. There were the
same words, the same woman, the same caresses; and that which, fifteen
days before, would have intoxicated me with love and happiness, repeated
thus, filled me with horror.
"Brigitte," I suddenly inquired, "what secret are you concealing from me?
If you love me, what horrible comedy is this you are playing before me?"
"I!" said she almost offended. "What makes you think I am playing?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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