The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
She was about to faint as I led her to a chair where she sank down and
her head fell on my shoulder. The terrible effort she had made in
speaking to me so bitterly had broken her down. Instead of an outraged
woman, I found now only a suffering child. Her eyes closed and she was
motionless.
When she regained consciousness, she complained of extreme languor, and
begged to be left alone that she might rest. She could hardly walk; I
carried her gently to her room and placed her on the bed. There was no
mark of suffering on her face: she was resting from her sorrow as from
great fatigue and seemed not even to remember it. Her feeble and delicate
body yielded without a struggle; the strain had been too great. She held
my hand in hers; I kissed her; our lips met in loving union, and after
the cruel scene through which she had passed, she slept smiling on my
heart as on the first day.
CHAPTER VI
BRIGITTE slept. Silent, motionless, I sat near her. As a farmer, when the
storm has passed, counts the sheaves that remain in his devastated field,
thus I began to estimate the evil I had done.
The more I thought of it, the more irreparable I felt it to be. Certain
sorrows, by their very excess, warn us of their limits, and the more
shame and remorse I experienced, the more I felt that, after such a
scene, nothing remained for us to do but to say adieu. Whatever courage
Brigitte had shown, she had drunk to the dregs the bitter cup of her sad
love: unless I wished to see her die, I must give her repose. She had
often addressed cruel reproaches to me and had, perhaps, on certain other
occasions shown more anger than in this scene; but what she had said this
time was not dictated by offended pride; it was the truth, which, hidden
closely in her heart, had broken it in escaping. Our present relations,
and the fact that I had refused to go away with her, destroyed all hope;
she desired to pardon me but she had not the power. This slumber even,
this deathlike sleep of one who could suffer no more, was conclusive
evidence; this sudden silence, the tenderness she had shown in the final
moments, that pale face, and that kiss, confirmed me in the belief that
all was over, and that I had broken, forever, whatever bond had united
us. As surely as she slept now, as soon as I gave her cause for further
suffering, she would sleep in eternal rest. The clock struck and I felt
that the last hour had carried away my life with hers.
Unwilling to call any one, I lighted Brigitte's lamp; I watched its
feeble flame and my thoughts seemed to flicker in the darkness like its
uncertain rays.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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