The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
I arose, and went to my room; a torrent of tears flowed from my eyes. I
held out my arms as though to seize the past which was escaping me. "Is
it possible," I repeated, "that I am going to lose you? I can love no one
but you. What! you are going away? And forever? What! you, my life, my
adored mistress, you flee from me; I shall never see you again? Never!
never!" I said aloud; and, addressing myself to the sleeping Brigitte as
though she could hear me, I added: "Never, never; do not think of it; I
will never consent to it. And why so much pride? Are there no means of
atoning for the offense I have committed? I beg of you let us seek some
expiation. Have you not pardoned me a thousand times? But you love me,
you will not be able to go, for courage will fail you. What shall we do?"
A horrible madness seized me; I began to run here and there in search of
some instrument of death. At last I fell on my knees and beat my head
against the bed. Brigitte stirred and I remained quiet, fearing I would
waken her.
"Let her sleep until to-morrow," I said to myself; "you have all night to
watch her."
I resumed my place; I was so frightened at the idea of waking Brigitte,
that I scarcely dared breathe. Gradually I became more calm and less
bitter tears began to course gently down my cheeks. Tenderness succeeded
fury. I leaned over Brigitte and looked at her as though, for the last
time, my good angel was urging me to grave on my soul the lines of that
dear face!
How pale she was! Her large eyes, surrounded by a bluish circle, were
moist with tears; her form, once so lithe, was bent as though under a
burden; her cheek, wasted and leaden, rested on a hand that was spare and
feeble; her brow seemed to bear the marks of that crown of thorns which
is the diadem of resignation. I thought of the cottage. How young she was
six months ago! How cheerful, how free, how careless! What had I done
with all that? It seemed to me that a strange voice repeated an old
romance that I had long since forgotten:
Altra volta gieri biele,
Blanch' e rossa com' un flore,
Ma ora no. Non son piu biele
Consumatis dal' amore.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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