The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
of contempt for the purchaser. Are you passionate? Take care of your
face. It is shameful for a soldier to throw down his arms and for a
debauchee to appear to hold to anything; his glory consists in touching
nothing except with hands of marble that have been bathed in oil in order
that nothing may stick to them. Are you hot-headed? If you desire to
live, learn how to kill, for wine is a wrangler. Have you a conscience?
Take care of your slumber, for a debauchee who repents too late is like a
ship that leaks: it can neither return to land nor continue on its
course; the winds can with difficulty move it, the ocean yawns for it, it
careens and disappears. If you have a body, look out for suffering; if
you have a soul, despair awaits you. O, unhappy one! beware of men; while
they walk along the same path with you, you will seem to see a vast plain
strewn with garlands where a happy throng of dancers trip the gladsome
_furandole_ standing in a circle, each a link in an endless chain; it is
but a mirage; those who look down know that they are dancing on a silken
thread stretched over an abyss that swallows up all who fall and shows
not even a ripple on its surface. What foot is sure? Nature herself seems
to deny you her divine consolation; trees and flowers are yours no more;
you have broken your mother's laws, you are no longer one of her
foster-children, the birds of the field become silent when you appear.
You are alone! Beware of God! You are face to face with Him, standing
like a cold statue upon the pedestal of will. The rain from heaven no
longer refreshes you, it undermines and weakens you. The passing wind no
longer gives you the kiss of life, the benediction on all that lives and
breathes; it buffets you and makes you stagger. Every woman who kisses
you, takes from you a spark of life and gives you none in return; you
exhaust yourself on fantoms; wherever falls a drop of our sweat, there
springs up one of those sinister weeds that grow in graveyards. Die! You
are the enemy of all, who love; blot yourself from the face of the earth,
do not wait for old age; do not leave a child behind you, do not
fecundate a drop of your corrupted blood; vanish as does the smoke, do
not deprive a single blade of living grass of a ray of sunlight!'"
When I had spoken these words, I fell back in my chair and a flood of
tears streamed from my eyes.
"Ah! Desgenais," I cried, sobbing, "this is not what you told me. Did you
not know it? And if you did, why did you not tell me of it?"
But Desgenais sat still with folded hands; he was as pale as a shroud and
a long tear trickled down his cheek.
A moment of silence ensued. The clock struck; I suddenly remembered that
it was this hour and this day, one year ago, that my mistress deceived
me.
"Do you hear that clock?" I cried, "do you hear it? I do not know what it
means at this moment, but it is a terrible hour and one that will count
in my life."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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