The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
While she was playing, I walked up and down the room; I passed my hand
over my forehead as though to brush away the fog, I stamped my foot,
shrugged my shoulders at my own madness; finally, I sat down on a cushion
which had fallen to the floor; she came to me. The more I struggled with
the spirit of darkness which had seized me, the thicker the night that
gathered around my head.
"Verily," I said, "you lie so well? What! that air is yours? Is it
possible you can lie so fluently?"
She looked at me with an air of astonishment.
"What is it?" she asked.
Unspeakable anxiety was depicted on her face. Surely she could not
believe me fool enough to reproach her for such a harmless bit of
pleasantry; she did not see anything serious in that sadness which I
felt; but the more trifling the cause, the greater the surprise. At first
she thought I, too, must be joking; but when she saw me growing paler
every moment, as though about to faint, she stood with open lips and bent
body, looking like a statue.
"God of Heaven!" she cried, "is it possible?"
You smile, perhaps, reader, at this page; I, who write it, still shudder
as I think of it. Misfortunes have their symptoms as well as diseases,
and there is nothing so terrible at sea as a little black point on the
horizon.
However, my dear Brigitte drew a little round table into the center of
the room and brought out some supper. She had prepared it herself and I
did not drink a drop that was not first borne to her lips. The blue light
of day, piercing through the curtains, illumined her charming face and
tender eyes; she was tired and allowed her head to fall on my shoulder
with a thousand terms of endearment.
I could not struggle against such charming abandon, and my heart expanded
with joy; I believed I had rid myself of the bad dream that had just
tormented me, and I begged her pardon for giving way to a sudden impulse
which I, myself, did not understand.
"My friend," I said from the bottom of my heart, "I am very sorry that I
unjustly reproached you for a piece of innocent badinage; but if you love
me, never lie to me, even in the smallest matter, for a lie is an
abomination to me and I can not endure it."
I told her I would remain until she was asleep. I saw her close her
beautiful eyes, and heard her murmur something in her sleep as I bent
over and kissed her adieu. Then I went away with a tranquil heart,
promising myself that I would henceforth enjoy my happiness and allow
nothing to disturb it.
But the next day Brigitte said to me, as though by chance:
"I have a large book in which I have written my thoughts, everything that
has occurred to my mind, and I want you to see what I said of you the
first day I met you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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