The Confession of a Child of the Century — CompleteMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century — Complete
Musset, Alfred de
France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Historical fiction
As I was crossing the public square one evening I saw two men standing
together; one of them said:
“It appears to me that he has ill-treated her.”
“It is her fault,” replied the other; “why choose such a man? He has
known only public women; she is paying the price of her folly.”
I advanced in the darkness to see who was speaking thus, and to hear
more if possible; but they passed on as soon as they spied me.
I found Brigitte much disturbed; her aunt was seriously ill; she had
time for only a few words with me. I did not see her for an entire week;
I knew that she had summoned a physician from Paris; finally she sent
for me.
“My aunt is dead,” she said; “I lose the only one left me on earth, I am
now alone in the world, and I am going to leave the country.”
“Am I, then, nothing to you?”
“Yes, my friend; you know that I love you, and I often believe that you
love me. But how can I count on you? I am your mistress, alas! but you
are not my lover. It is for you that Shakespeare has written these sad
words: ‘Make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is a very
opal.’ And I, Octave,” she added, pointing to her mourning costume,
“I am reduced to a single color, and I shall not change it for a long
time.”
“Leave the country if you choose; I will either kill myself or I will
follow you. Ah! Brigitte,” I continued, throwing myself on my knees
before her, “you thought you were alone when your aunt died! That is the
most cruel punishment you could inflict on me; never have I so keenly
felt the misery of my love for you. You must retract those terrible
words; I deserve them, but they will kill me. Oh, God! can it be true
that I count for nothing in your life, or that I am an influence in your
life only because of the evil I have done you!”
“I do not know,” she said, “who is busying himself in our affairs;
certain insinuations, mixed with idle gossip, have been set afloat in
the village and in the neighboring country. Some say that I have been
ruined; others accuse me of imprudence and folly; others represent you
as a cruel and dangerous man. Some one has spied into our most secret
thoughts; things that I thought no one else knew, events in your life
and sad scenes to which they have led, are known to others; my poor
aunt spoke to me about it not long ago, and she knew it some time before
speaking to me. Who knows but that that has hastened her death?
“When I meet my old friends in the street, they either treat me coldly,
or turn aside. Even my dear peasant girls, those good girls who love
me so much, shrug their shoulders when they see my place empty at the
Sunday afternoon balls. How has that come about? I do not know, nor do
you, I suppose; but I must go away, I can not endure it. And my aunt’s
death, so sudden, so unexpected, above all, this solitude! this empty
room! Courage fails me; my friend, my friend, do not abandon me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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