The Confession of a Child of the Century — CompleteMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century — Complete
Musset, Alfred de
France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Historical fiction
What passed through my mind was perhaps as subtle as the finest
sophistry; it was a sort of dialogue between the mind and the
conscience. “If I should lose Brigitte?” I said to the mind. “She
departs with you,” said the conscience. “If she deceives me?”--“How can
she deceive you? Has she not made out her will asking for prayers for
you?”--“If Smith loves her?”--“Fool! What does it matter so long as you
know that she loves you?”--“If she loves me why is she sad?”--“That
is her secret, respect it.”--“If I take her away with me, will she be
happy?”--“Love her and she will be.”--“Why, when that man looks at her,
does she seem to fear to meet his glance?”--“Because she is a woman
and he is young.”--“Why does that young man turn pale when she looks at
him?”--“Because he is a man and she is beautiful.”--“Why, when I went to
see him did he throw himself into my arms, and why did he weep and beat
his head with his hands?”--“Do not seek to know what you must remain
ignorant of.”--“Why can I not know these things?”--“Because you are
miserable and weak, and all mystery is of God.”
“But why is it that I suffer? Why is it that my soul recoils in
terror?”--“Think of your father and do good.”--“But why am I unable to
do as he did? Why does evil attract me to itself?”--“Get down on your
knees and confess; if you believe in evil it is because your ways have
been evil.”--“If my ways were evil, was it my fault? Why did the
good betray me?”--“Because you are in the shadow, would you deny
the existence of light? If there are traitors, why are you one of
them?”--“Because I am afraid of becoming the dupe.”--“Why do you spend
your nights in watching? Why are you alone now?”--“Because I think,
I doubt, and I fear.”--“When will you offer your prayer?”--“When I
believe. Why have they lied to me?”--“Why do you lie, coward! at this
very moment? Why not die if you can not suffer?”
Thus spoke and groaned within me two voices, voices that were defiant
and terrible; and then a third voice cried out! “Alas! Alas! my
innocence! Alas! Alas! the days that were!”
CHAPTER V. TRUTH AT LAST
What a frightful weapon is human thought! It is our defense and our
safeguard, the most precious gift that God has made us. It is ours and
it obeys us; we may launch it forth into space, but, once outside of our
feeble brains, it is gone; we can no longer control it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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