The Confessions of a BeachcomberBanfield, E. J. (Edmund James)
History
The Confessions of a Beachcomber
Banfield, E. J. (Edmund James)
Dunk Island (Qld.); Natural history -- Australia -- Queensland
A boy was asked if he thought Jimmy Governor (a notorious desperado who
had given the New South Wales police much trouble) ought to be hanged.
"Baal. No fear hang 'em; too good."
"What you do then?"
"Me! me punch 'em nose!"
LITTLE FELLA CREEK SAILOR
Ponto, a boy well known in North Queensland, and one of the few
aboriginals whose memory is honoured by tombstones, was once taken by
his master to Sydney. He saw many wonders, being particularly impressed
by the appearance of the men-of-war's-men.
A month or so after his return he was away among the mountains with his
master and a friend who was wearing a jersey.
"You sailor, Bob?" asked Ponto.
"Yes, Ponto. I'm sailor-man."
"No. You no sailor," responded Ponto decisively.
"Yes. I tell you true. I'm sailor."
Ponto: "Ah! me think you no big salt-water sailor. You only little fella
creek sailor. You no got jacket--flash collar, knife alonga string!"
A FATEFUL BARGAIN
A squatter, travelling on foot with his black boy, came to a river
almost a "banker," and there was no recourse but to swim. After
Charcoal had taken a couple of trips with the clothes, the Boss told the
boy to swim alongside him, in case of emergency. Halfway across, just as
the Boss was feeling that there was some risk in swimming a flooded
river in which were many snags, Charcoal cheerily observed--"Suppose you
drowned finish, Boss, you gib me you pipe?" Summing up all the
possibilities in a second, the Boss gasped out--"No; you bin get pipe
when I'm across!" The boy's aid was prompt and effective.
EXCUSABLE BIAS
Two of the beachcombing class resumed an oft-recurring discussion on the
seaworthiness of their respective dinghies. Tom, the silent black boy, a
more experienced boatman than either, listened as he watched his own
frail bark canoe dancing like a feather in response to every ripple.
"Tom!" shouted one of the disputants, "suppose you want to go out in
big wind and big sea, which boat you take? This one belonga me, or that
one belonga your Boss?"
Tom glanced at the boats with the eye of an expert, paused in the
exercise of his judgment, and said with emphasis--"Me take 'em my boat!"
THE TRIAL SCENE
"Boiling Down," a boy with a not very reputable past, had once stood his
trial for a serious offence. On returning to his free hills, he was wont
to describe with rare art the trial scene.
Clearing a patch of ground, he would place one chip to represent the
judge--"big fella master"; a small chip would be His Honour's associate;
twelve chips were the jurymen; three were the lawyers; a big chip
between two others was "Boiling Down" with attendant policemen, and
many scattered about stood for the audience.
Having arranged his properties, the boy would proceed.
"Big fella master, he bin say--'Boinin' Down, you hear me? You
guinty--you not guinty?' Me bin say 'Guinty!'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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